The Show Must Go On
by 2izBetterThan1
Summary: Bella and Edward are best friends unaware of their more-than-friendship love for each other. Bella decides to finally try and tell him in song in a talent show. It doesn't exactly go the way she anticipated. Story's better than summary. AH/Canon pairings.
1. Jump Then Fall

**A/N: What it doooooo home skillets! G1 here, driving this muthafuckin rocket and its about to go DOWN! **

**Hehe, so basically I've been working on this for a while and it is my personal baby so be gentle with he/she (i don't know what the fuck it is), it is very sensitive. I told it to stop being such a punk bitch but this fucker has a mind of its own, real shit. This is kinda of a song fic to express my love of music through a story cause every time I hear a song and love it, the lyrics sing to me and I form a mini story in my head. I might as well share some, right? Goodness knows G2 is sick of hearing my mini-song-movie-story-thingys. So if your not into the song fic thing, this story may not be for you. cause i can guran-fucking-tee this story will be full of music. Imma HUGE Taylor Swift Fan (Tay Tay) btw, so that might be most of what Bella sings because her songs are just so striaght forward and honest. I effing love her! But anyhoos, I hope you like it.**

**P.S: KEEP IN MIND READERS, THE CHAPTERS ARE NAMED AFTER SONGS PERTAINING SOME WHAT TO THE CHAPTER. SO UNLESS YOU KNOW THE SONG, DON'T TAKE THE TITLES TOO LITERAL.**

**CH 1:**** Jump Then Fall**

* * *

><p><strong> BPOV<strong>

"I know you're going to do great B-dog. You have a great singing voice. You're going to win this for sure. And if you don't, I'll beat anyone's ass who does." He said it playfully, but I could hear the menace behind his words.

"Sure I will." I laughed. Edward was always there to make me feel better. Like right now. He knew how nervous I was.

He was always there for me. I knew if I asked him for anything he would do it. We have been best friends since second grade. Even with my newly acquired feelings I knew we would still be.

_Until he finds out about them, that is. _My conscience said.

Shut up stupid.

_I know you are but what am I?_

"Yes, you will. Just don't…." Edward spoke. I watched the way his mouthed moved, not really listening to what he was saying. I can ever keep my focus when he's talking to me anymore. I hear the words but all I can think is…

_We should be together._

Yeah.

I could watch him talk all day and he wouldn't notice.

"Bella. Earth to Bella." Edward said waving his hand in front of my face, bringing me back from La La Land.

"Huh? What?"

"Didn't you hear me? I said try to not fall. I wouldn't want to lose you to public embarrassment." He said teasingly. I punched his arm.

"Ow. What are you? The Hulk?" He rubbed his arm.

"Don't make fun of me."

He smiled. I love his smile. Every time he smiles, I smile.

"Whatever." Some of his hair fell in his face. I brushed it away.

"I like the way you hair falls in your face." Did I just say that out loud?

_Yep._

Shit.

I moved my hand as fast as I could from his face. I bent my head down and looked at the floor trying to hide to the massive blush that spread across my face.

I felt his hand on cheek and lifted my head up. "I like the way you blush."

If it was possible I blushed harder.

"Edward! You not supposed to be back here!" A shrilling voice said. Edward dropped his hand. I frowned.

"I was just leaving Alice." He said glumly and rolled his. I giggled.

"Sure you were." She rolled her eyes. "Come on. Bella needs to prepare." She ordered with here hands on her hips.

"Fine. See you B." He kissed me on the cheek and turned around to leave. I'm sure I looked like a tomato.

"I'll escort you out." Alice walked with him. But not before turning around to wink at me.

Why did I listen to Alice?

_Cause you love him._

Not good enough! Maybe I could sneak out. I wonder where the exit is…

"Stop it." Alice said, back already.

I looked down at the conspirator of this whole scheme. "What are you talking about?" I tried to play it off. I knew it was a waste though. She could always see through me.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Stop trying to look for ways to escape and get ready. You're almost up. You got this. I know you do." She looked at me encouragingly through her gray eyes.

I took a shaky breath and nodded. I still wasn't too concrete about this whole situation though.

"I'll go get Jasper to see if he can calm you down." She walked off to find her boyfriend. She thinks just because he took AP psychology last year he's some sansei of talk therapy. Wrong. I took AP U.S. history last year and I swear I couldn't tell you who the 42nd president was.

Who knew this would ever happen to me? Why didn't anyone ever say " One day you're going to fall in love with your best friend, so watch out." Why the hell couldn't there be a warning telling you who you would fall in love with? I wish there was. Then I wouldn't be about to pour my heart out in a song to hundreds of people at my school's talent show. Including the persons it's for.

Edward.

The most popular, hottest, athletic, sweetest, perfect guy in Forks. And my best friend. It's not like I've been in love with him forever. Just since last summer.

We went backpacking in Europe for summer vacation before our senior year, just me and him. Of course, with adult supervision. But it felt like just the two of us because Emmett, Edwards older brother, wasn't much of an adult anyway. Even at 22.

That whole summer changed the way I looked at him. The way he smiled, laughed, ate, smelled...

He wasn't just the boy next door who had always been there for me. He wasn't just somebody I could tell everything to for as long as I could remember. The person who fought for me when people picked on me in the fifth grade. Or was my shoulder to cry on when my first boyfriend broke up with me at my 14th birthday party.

The smallest things about him drive me crazy.

I love the way he sounds in the morning when he wakes up and I'm the one he calls. His laugh is the best sound I've ever heard. And he knows none of this.

And that brings me back to now. Back stage in Forks high school's auditorium., registered in the annual Winter Wonderland talent show for right before winter break, about to go on stage and tell him. Thinking about it now makes me want to run for it.

_Stop it. _My conscience scolded me.

Fine.

I looked out into the audience to see where he was. I spotted him in the front row. Next to him was Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. On the other side was a empty seat which must be Jasper's. Carlisle and Esme, his parents and my god parents, were behind him. Next to them was my dad, Charlie. Edward spotted me and flashed his beautiful crooked smile. I grimaced and stepped back.

"Fuck." I breathed and fell against the wall with my guitar. I took slow breathes and put my head between my knees to prevent hyperventilating.

"Bella!" I heard Alice yell over all the chaos backstage. I lifted my head slowly as her and Jasper came into view.

Jasper knelt in front of me and put his hands on my knees. "Damn girl, you're paler than pale." Alice hit him in the head.

"Ow. Violent much?" he said rubbing his head. Alice might be small but her hit was hell.

"You're not helping." She replied.

"Oh right. Well, look at the bright side B. You still have two more acts before you go on. Just don't trip. That would look really bad." He grinned. I glared.

"Your still not helping dumb ass." Alice said. He shrugged and kiss me on the forehead before standing.

"Don't worry Bella, you'll do great. If he doesn't figure it out after this, then he truly is an idiot and doesn't deserve you."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks Jazz. You always know what to say…sometimes."

"Any time. Well, I should get back before the person in questioning thinks something's wrong. That wouldn't really help either." I cringed at the thought.

Alice hit him again. "And you always know how to ruin it too." He kissed her on the cheek while rubbing his head and left. Alice sat down beside me.

"I forgot he knew." I said sadly. It wasn't a secret anymore when Emmett found out. That was like me saying it to the world. I'm surprised Edward still didn't know.

"Who doesn't?" Alice asked rhetorically. I gave her a look.

"Are you trying to help? Because you suck at it worse than Jasper." I accused.

"Nope. I'm just stating the truth. Everyone _does_ know." I rolled my eyes.

"No shit." I sighed.

"The only one who doesn't is Edward, but…" She stopped her self from saying the rest of her sentence.

"But what?" She didn't answer.

"Alice." She huffed.

"Look. Do you think I would make you go out there if I didn't think there was _hope_ that he felt the same way?" She said.

I blanched.

"What? What are you talking about? What are you saying? That Edward feels something too. Huh? Alice? Is that what your saying? Is that what you're trying to get me to believe? Cause' if you are than that's a really cruel fucking-"

"Bella! Bella, calm down. And this is not a joke. See. This is why I didn't want to say any thing to you. I knew you wouldn't believe me. Plus I promised. It's not my place to tell you. But I will say this…there are just some things you don't know."

"What the hell does that mean? Who did you promise? What don't I know?" I asked desperately. I had a felling who she was talking about though. A very bad sick-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach feeling.

She pretended to seal her lips and throw away the key. "My lips are sealed. Now come on. I need to re-do your make up. Just put what I just said as far in the back of you head as possible. You need to concentrate." How the hell did she expect me to do that with this new information?

I huffed. "Fine." I let it go for now. I knew she wasn't going to break. But after the show I was getting answers. From her and Edward. I don't care how all this turns out, some one was going to talk.

"Come on sweetie." She helped me up.

"_Well that was Mike, Tyler, and Eric with "Can't Touch This." A very creative piece. Next we have Ben Cheney and Angela Weber with…the salsa!" _The announcer said.

Mike, Tyler, and Eric walked passed me. Tyler smiled, Eric gave me a thumbs up, and Mike…

Mike was bold.

He walked over to me and didn't stop until he was in my ear. " Break a leg babe. I'll be watching." He said in a slurry voice. I guess he was trying to sound sexy but it just sounded weird. I looked him straight in the eye, angry that he was even in my presence.

"I m going to give you one more warning. But if you come near me one more time I will not stop Edward from breaking your face _this_ time." you could tell by his face he remembered exactly what I was talking bought, but he hid it pretty well. He gave me a once over that made me feel dirty and walked away. Asshole.

"Well, it looks like someone's not so nervous anymore." She smirked.

"I can't help it. He really pisses me off…And thanks for reminding me." I said mockingly. She shrugged.

"_Lets give them a round of applause! Wasn't that amazing? Now we have Lauren Calve, Jessica Stanley, and Tanya Denali singing "Don't cha!"_

The music started and my stomach began to hurt. Tanya. I hated her.

Edward's ex. And everything I'm not. Blonde, tall, beautiful. They were the perfect couple. Yes, I did say _were_, as in past-tense.

Because he dumped her. To make the long story short. She cheated.

How anyone could ever cheat on someone like Edward was astonishing to me. That night was really hard for him though. After arguing on the phone with Tanya for an hour he came to my house. That was the angriest I had ever seen him. Edward's not usually a violent person but that night he was punching some walls. I held him all night until he calmed down. He didn't cry at all, but I knew he wanted to. He was so angry.

When someone you care about hurts you, that's what you need to do to let out. He didn't though. But in the morning when we woke up he gave me the most beautiful breathtaking smile that said 'Thank you' without words. All I did was be there when he needed me. Yet I got the best reward ever. I just did what he did for me when James hurt me.

I caught him when he fell.

I also did the other thing he did to James. I beat the shit out of Tanya's slutty ass. That whole week was really bad for him though. At school people were spreading rumors that brought him to his knees, but I always caught him.

She has been trying to get back with him ever since. Its been three months of non stop calls and unexpected visits. Once she even showed up in nothing but a trench coat. But fortunately Edward wasn't home. Man did she get an ear full from Esme though.

Pathetic bitch.

I went to look at their performance from back stage. They were all wearing short-shorts with their asses hanging out, tank tops that weren't covering shit, and heels I would die in.

I looked down at my clothing. I had on black skinny jeans, a dark blue V-neck with a white and gray striped cardigan over it, and silver pumps. My hair was curled and I had a bit of make up on but nothing special.

That's all I was. Nothing special. So why in the hell would someone like Edward who could have anyone he wanted, young to old, want someone as plain as me when he could have someone as perfect as Tanya?

_Because he doesn't want someone like that. Stop doubting yourself. I bet you he feels the same way about you that you do him._

Why would you speak such blasphemy? Go away!

_You're retarded._

I ignored that little voice in my head and leaned out a little to see Edward. His jaw was basically on the floor. His eyes, along with most of the men in the room, and some women, glued on Tanya and her posse of sluts shaking all there body parts in the air. I shook my head and stepped back.

"Your doing it again." Alice scolded me coming out of no where. I gave her the same panicked look I'd worn all night.

"Alice, what if he doesn't like me like it? What if he just wants to stay friends? Or worse, what if this ruins our friendship? I'm not Tanya or someone remotely close. I cant-" My voice broke. I took a deep breath and continued. "I wouldn't be able to live, Alice I need him in my life. Even if it not the way I prefer I just-" My voice caught in my throat. I was on the verge of tears.

Alice took my face in her hands and stared me in the eyes. "Stop. Breathe. Relax. What did I say before? I wouldn't make you do this if I didn't have hope. I feel it. This is not going to turn out bad. Edward loves you and always will .And who the fuck wants to be Tanya? I should wash your mouth out with soap for speaking such dirty words." I giggled even though I knew she was dead serious. " And even if doesn't work out the way we want it, you will live, and we'll get through it together. So stop being stupid cause' you're next."

I nodded and took a deep breath. She handed my guitar. "Bella, this is not a sad song so turn that frown upside down and get in the mood."

I smiled. " That's so corny. Couldn't come up with any thing better, huh?"

"Nope, but it got a smile out of your face." She said smugly.

"True."

"_And that was….Nice. Very nice Ladies." _The announcer said breaking out of his slut-induced trance as they walked off stage.

Tanya walked off last, and just like Mike, she was bold. What is wrong with people these days? She stopped in front of me. I gave her the most disgusted look I could muster.

"Beat that, Tramp." even though she was beautiful, her attitude made her hideous. It helped me see who she really was. Her whole appearance was so pathetic looking, all I could do was laugh at her. She narrowed her eyes at me.

I stepped to her until I was in her face. "Oh I will, skank…I will." I said arrogantly.

She looked at me up and down then flipped her hair and walked off. It hit me in the face. I was about to go put my foot up her ass when Alice grabbed my arm.

"_Now we have our final act, Isabella Swan. Lets give her a round of applause!" _I stiffened.

Alice smiled and clapped. "Go.' She mouthed.

Some I got my feet to move and made my way on stage. I could barley see the audience because of the blinding lights. But knowing they could see me, I smiled the best I could. The butterflies in my stomach were making that damn near impossible.

I made it to the stool on stage and sat down positioning my guitar on my lap. The room got quiet. I guess that's my cue.

I brought my mouth to the mic. "Uh, hi. I'm Bella and this is a song I wrote for a very special person in my life. I hope he appreciates it." As my eyes began to adjust to the light I could see the first few rows. My eyes locked with Edward's beautiful green eyes and I saw some curiosity in them, but what also looked like disappointment.

Whatever. I began to play the guitar and sang to Edward. Letting him know it was for him. I hope he understands.

_I like the way you sound in the morning._

_We're on the phone and without a warning._

_I realize your laugh is the best sound_

_I have ever heard._

_I like the way I can keep my focus._

_I watch you talk, you didn't notice._

_I hear the words but all I can think is_

_We should be together_

_Every time you smile, I smile._

_And every time you shine, I'll shine for you._

_Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby._

_Don't be afraid to_

_Jump then fall._

_Jump then fall into me_

_Be there, never gonna leave you._

_Say that you wanna be with me too._

_So I'ma stay through it all._

_So jump then fall._

Edward stared at me wide eyed and slack-jaw as I got in to the chorus. I guess he figured out it's about him. I couldn't help but smile. He was so cute. These lyrics were right from my heart. As I stared back in to Edwards wide eyes it felt as if I was only singing to him. Like we were the only people in the room.

_I like the way your hair falls in your face._

_You got the keys to me._

_I love each freckle on your face, oh._

_I've never been so wrapped up, honey._

_I like the way you're everything I ever wanted._

_I had time to think it oh, over._

_And all I can say is come closer._

_Take a deep breath then jump then fall into me._

_Cause every time you smile, I smile_

_Cause every time you shine, I'll shine for you._

_Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby._

_Don't be afraid to_

_Jump then fall._

_Jump then fall into me._

_Be there, never gonna leave you._

_Say that you wanna be with me too._

_So I'ma stay through it all._

_So jump then fall_.

Edward's shocked eyes turned from shock, to understanding, to anger. I didn't understand it. I closed my eyes to break his stare and tried to keep my face composed as I sang the next verse.

_The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet._

_I'll catch you, I'll catch you._

_And people say things that bring you to your knees._

_I'll catch you._

_The time's gonna come when you're so mad you could cry._

_But I'll hold you through the night until you smile._

When I open my eyes he wasn't there. I looked to Emmett and he shrugged. He looked as worried as I felt.

This can't be good.

_Whoa oh, I'm need you baby._

_Don't be afraid, please_

_Jump then fall._

_Jump then fall, into me._

_Be there, never gonna leave you._

_Say that you wanna be with me too._

_So I'ma stay through it all._

_So jump then fall._

_Jump then fall baby._

_Jump then fall _

_Into me, into me._

_Every time you smile, I smile._

_And every time you shine, I'll shine._

_And every time you're here._

_Baby I'll show you, I'll show you._

_You can _

_Jump then fall, jump then fall_

_Jump then fall into me, into me _

_Yeah_

When I finished the song the crowd stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I gave them a fake wide smile, trying not to think about what just happened. Alice came running on stage and me to give vice tight hug. Strong-ass pixie. I heard whistles and yells of appraisement. I waved. The announcer walked on stage as I walked off.

"_Well wasn't that fantastic! Best act I've seen all night!" _The crowd erupted into another applause. _"Alright. That was the end of our show and now it's time for our judges to deliberate so we can find who the winners are." _

"Bella! That was amazing! I knew you would do great." Alice chimed once we were back stage.

"Yeah. Great." I said glumly. It wasn't so great with the way I felt.

Alice gave me a confused looked that turned to worry. "What-" she was cut off by my dad.

"Bells! That was great." He said giving me an awkward hug and handing me flowers. I could see the indecision in his eyes when he pulled back. He knew what happened and didn't know what to say.

"Thanks dad." I smiled at him, pleading with my eyes for him to drop it. Then I felt arms wrap around me.

"That was wonderful sweetie." Esme murmured in my ear giving me a hug too.

"Thanx…At least someone thinks so." I said only to her.

She gave me a sad look and rubbed my back. "Oh honey. He'll come around."

"Sure."

Carlisle came into view and hugged me. "Marvelous." I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but wisdom. "I know my son. He's not stupid." I nodded. _But I am._

Emmett and Rosalie gave me sad smiles but kept their distance. Knowing all to well I wasn't in the mood. After all the congrats and compliments it got kind of awkward. Because everyone knew who I really wanted to talk to at the moment.

"Um. I'm going to go get my things." I wanted to get away from all the looks of pity. I didn't want pity. I didn't want anything.

I walked down the hall to the dressing rooms then was suddenly grabbed from behind. I opened my mouth to scream but a hand covered it. I calmed down when I recognized the scent of the person. Man and mint.

Edward.

He pulled me into the prop room across the hall from the dressing room. He let me go and closed the door. It was pitch black and I couldn't see him. I could sure feel him though. This wasn't a very big room. I found the light stringy-thing hanging from the ceiling, or whatever the hell it was, and turned the light on.

His expression was livid. He had his arms crossed chest and you could tell he was tense. I mentally cringed. This was not how I imagined it. It was quiet for a few minutes until I spoke.

"Um, so…did you like the song?" I asked timidly. I don't know why I asked _that_. I was terrified of his answer. It was obvious that he hadn't.

He continued to glare for a few seconds then…then he laughed. He fucking _laughed_.

I was hella confused for a minute, not knowing what could be so fucking funny, then my temper began to flare. And let me tell you, my temper can be deadly. I just poured out my heart to this jackass to have him run out. Then to top it off, he throws me into a got damn closet and laughs in my face!

Oh _hell _naw!

I was so angry I couldn't think. I knew if I got any worse and angry tears fell, all hell would break lose. I had to get out. I moved for the door to leave but he blocked it with his body.

"Move." I said as calmly as I could. He knew not to fuck with me when I was angry. I wouldn't be in charge of my actions.

"No." was all he said and stared at me.

"Move Edward." I spoke though my teeth. "If you're not going to talk, then let me go. I don't have time for this. The announcer-" He put his hand over my mouth. I didn't have it in me to be angry any more. His stare broke me. I was about to start pleading. _So_ not me. He removed his hand and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He let out a frustrated sigh and put his hands through his hair and averted hi gaze to the floor.

"How long?" I knew what he was asking. I just didn't want to answer. But I did.

"Six months." I whispered.

He raised his head and it looked like he was calculating something. "This past summer." He stated. I nodded and looked down at my hands, shuffling them together.

"What do you want from me Bella?" He pleaded.

What? Who the fuck did he think I was? Some pathetic little girl. Talking about what I wanted from him. I raised my head to tell him who the fuck he was talking to, but he spoke again.

"I mean, what do you expect me to do? Fall into your arms?" He shook his head as if he was trying to find words. I glared. I didn't want to hear anymore.

"Look-" I started to say but he cut me off. _Again_. That was getting real old, real fast.

"No, you look." He said, his tone sharper. I was about to go off, _nobody_ talked to me like that. I swear I was two seconds from punching him in his pretty face. He sighed and let go of his hair.

"I'm sorry. This isn't coming out right." He murmured more to himself than me, frustrated. Too bad for him. But really, at the moment I didn't give fuck how he felt.

"Sure in the hell isn't." I retorted and crossed my arms to stop myself from attacking him. Edward should really know better that to piss me off, it never ends well.

"Look Bella…It's just that…" Spit it out. "I feel the same way." He finally said.

"Well you can kiss-" I stopped. My eyes widened and I stared in shock at the realization of what he just said hit me like a ton of bricks, my anger forgotten. "What?" I whispered.

"I feel the same way." He said slowly. My arms fell limply to my side and I let out a breath, trying to find my voice.

"This changes things." I was all ready to tell him I didn't need him and give him a broken nose, then he goes and says the one thing I hoped he would. He took a step toward me and gently grabbed my face in his hands. He was so close I could feel his hot breath on my face. My eyes hooded. I snapped out of it and as his green eyes bore into mine; I saw nothing but sincerity as he spoke.

"Yeah, well, when I realized the song was about me I didn't think I heard you right. But I saw it in your eyes and it hit me. She loves me too. The one thing I've been wanting for months. I never in a thousand years thought you would feel the same way. That you saw me like that. I thought I would have to convince you. I thought I would have more time…"

This confused me. "More time? More time for…" He dropped his hands from my face and stepped back.

"I'm not ready." He whispered and looked down.

It took me a minute to get what he meant by that but then I understood. It felt as if I got the air knocked out of me. Like the rug just got pulled from under my feet and I was about to fall. But some how I held my ground.

"Okay. I see." He looked up. Whatever he saw on my face had him back tracking.

"No. No Bella. I m not saying I never want to be with you. I just-" He broke off and ran his hand through his hair. " I can't…I don't think I deserve you right now."

I was flabbergasted.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't deserve me right now?" I spoke with as much acid in my voice as I could produce. He looked a little uneasy. Good.

"I mean…I mean that I'm not good enough for you right -" I cut him up off by cracking up. I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes. He looked at me like I should be committed. But fuck it, I was way passed making sense of my emotions.

"That's a new one." I continued laughing until I got it all out. I sometimes laugh in very un-funny situations, and I don't know why. Maybe my mind thinks its better that me being enraged or hurt, but hey, when life throws you lemons you make beef stew, right? That probably made no fucking sense at all, but what about this scenario _does_? Especially with this load of shit he was trying to sell me. I took a deep breath and tried to be serious. But the crap he was giving me made it was pretty hard.

"Bella…are you…okay?" he asked hesitantly.

I looked him dead in the eye and cocked my head. There was something there he didn't want me to see but I saw through it like a transparent book. I knew the real reason. "Oh, I'm more than okay. I'm not buying any of that bullshit. I see clearly now. I see what you really are. You're a coward. Your scared. Your _afraid_."

I knew the real reason. He was scared I would do to him what Tanya did. I told you he had trust issues. But this was me, the girl he'd known most of his fucking life. And I thought he knew me better. And the fact that he would think I would hurt him hurt _me_ so much that I had to find a way to make him feel my pain. And his weak spot was his ego. I knew how to hit below the belt.

"What the fuck am I afraid of!" He exploded.

"Your afraid I'm gonna hurt you like Tanya! Your scared I'm gonna want something else!"

"Bella-" I cut him off.

"Don't Bella me! Is that what you think of me! Huh? Is that what you think I'd do to you! Cause if you do than I don't know you at all. You don't know me at all! You're not the Edward I fell I love with. I don't know who the fuck this person is, but it's not my best friend." I whispered. He flinched. I could tell my words stung worse than any physical pain I could give him because I was right.

"Bells-" I cut him off again. He wasn't liking that too much. Too bad.

"Don't! Just don't." I took a breath. "You know what? I do know who you are." what I was about to say would be the icing on the cake, "You're. A Little. Bitch." His face tuned apple red and his fist balled up.

We stood there glaring at each other both trying to catch our breath from shouting. After what seemed like forever he dropped his gaze from our staring match and untensed. When he looked back up his face was totally emotionless. Him voice clipped and guarded.

"I'm a little bitch, huh? Well, I'm not the one who keep a secret of loving someone then sings a song to this person and expects them to "Jump then fall into them". He even used the little quotation marks.

I was floored. I didn't think he had it in him. Edward had never said anything to hurt me. But we also have never had a fight like this. He smirked. I wanted to bitch slap that shit off his face so bad…but I did better. I smirked back. Then giggled.

"That might be true…but you're still a little bitch." He narrowed his eyes at me, mad that his verbal abuse had failed. It did sting, but I wasn't going to let him see that.

"_My I have all the contestants come to the stage please." _The announcer called. It seemed to bring us both back to reality. I stepped back from him.

"I gotta go. Bye, for good." I made my way for the door and he moved this time. When I walked outside all of my family fell into the small room.

"WTF?' I muttered trying to get my feet from under Emmett.

"Sorry Bella. But you didn't think we were going to miss this." Jasper was trying to get up.

"_May I have all the contestants please." _the announcer called again.

"I have to go." I said as I made my way to the stage.

"I'll come with you." Alice added.

"Dude, you dropped something." I heard Emmett mutter as I walked down the hall.

"What?" Douchward asked.

"Yo face!" Emmett boomed. I laughed, and so did Alice as we got to the stage.

I made my way to the stage in a daze running over what just happen. The announcer was revealing the winners and I tried to concentrate but couldn't. All I could think was about what he said_. "I don't deserve you right now." _What a load of shit.

I shook the thoughts out of my head for the time being and focused. Jacob won 3rd place for his karate skills. Angela and Ben got 2nd for their salsa dance. Tanya and her gang got 1st and I almost gagged. We still had the grand prize to go so they had this big producer guy come up to the stage to present it. He was the one who was going to be setting the winner up with some big deal that dealt with their talent.

I stood there, sort of numb, willing the pain that threatened to elope me go away as I listened to Aro Volturi state how he felt all the acts were great and how he was sad for there to be only one winner.

Blah, blah, fucking blah. I know I didn't win so just get on with it.

"…_and the grand prize goes to…Isabella Swan!" he said._

What the fuck did he just say?

"Bella?" Alice whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I think you just won."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!" she screamed. She pushed me to Aro while the whole auditorium was clapping.

Aro was kind of freaky looking close up, but had a kind smile. "Congratulations Miss Swan."

"Thanks." I murmured, not totally sure this wasn't a dream. I wasn't totally enthused as everyone else seemed to be though. He handed me a trophy, a check of a hundred dollars, and a certificate that read "_Volturi Records."_

"Is there anything you would like to share?" He asked holding out the mike to me. I shook my head to clear it and took the mike.

I spoke to the crowd. "Um, when I entered the show I had no intention of winning anything, let alone the grand prize. But here I am, and I have to say, wow. Um yeah…" I handed Aro the mike as people clapped as I walked off stage to my family. Edward was there but I tired to pretend he wasn't. If I looked at him I was sure I would cry. Him not trusting me cut me to the core.

"Omg! Omg! Omg! You won. Ahh! This is amazing. You rock!" Alice screeched and hugged me. Everyone gave me their praise, and made there ways to their cars. We were all going out to dinner. Edward hung back with an ashamed look on his face. I felt sad. I felt mad. I felt broken.

How could so little be so much and make everything seemed so fucked? This just wasn't perfect without him. He had been my best friend for so long, he was my family, but in a un-perverted way. He was my other halve and I felt not only sad of potentially losing his friendship, I felt lost. He was the other halve to my whole. I could probably live without us together how I want, but he needs to be in my life. But, on request of Alice and the looks of worry from my family, I tried put it out of my mind for the rest of the night.

Before I left I talked to Aro and he told me what was going to happen. He said that if I wanted to, that in two weeks his label was having a charity concert with some of the artist from his label and I could be a part of it. He informed me that some big wigs from the label were going to be there and if I was serious about this whole thing and performed well, I would no doubt be signed. It was a lot to take in, especially after this day, but I told him I would think about it. He gave me his card and a week to make a decision, then left.

I rode with Alice to the restaurant though I had ridden with Edward here, and told her about all that Aro had offered. She almost crashed and threatened to kill me if I didn't take the deal. Then I told the rest of the family at dinner, sans Edward, and they all encouraged me to follow my heart.

But the thing was, my heart was pulling towards the boy that hurt me just a few hours before, and I didn't know what to make of it. Alice told me to put it in a song to use in the concert. She said that this could be an inspirational experience for me. Writing songs is what I tend to do when dealing with delicate, difficult situations, so that's what I began when I got home that night. But overall, I would give it a few days.

I didn't have to make a definite decision now, and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to faced my feelings on the Edward situation yet and that's bound to fuck with me. I didn't really feel anything right now, but we'll see how it goes, and what he does. We'll see.

In the mean time, I have a song to write.

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><p><strong>AN: What did u think? Tell me please. **

**Just to let you know this will not be a long fic, so hopefully i finish it pretty quickly. I already have chapter 2 & 3 done, but I will post those when I get a encouraging amount of reviews. Feedback makes me want to write. No feedback makes me think I am a failure in life and I should shoot my self in the face...JUST KIDDING! I wouldnt go that far, but it would make me sad. So review! **

**Alright folks, thats all for now. You know what to do for more. **

**Im out this mofo, PEACE!**


	2. Whatever Happens

**A/N: Ahhhhhhh! Omg, much love to the reviews I got so far. I don't care if its only 3, at least its something! I wanna cry cause you guys actually like my shitty ass story, you guys are fuckawesome! So here you go, enjoy!**

**CH 2: ****Whatever Happens**

**Disclaimer: I don't own characters.  
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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Okay. Tell me again. What did you say to her?" Jasper taunted. I gave him a dirty look. The bastard enjoyed my misery.

"Oh, I know. He said 'I don't deserve you'." Emmett mocked. Then him and Jasper laughed liked hyenas till they couldn't breathe. Fucking assholes. I stood and stormed up the stairs to my room.

"Aw, don't be like that Eddie boy. We're just playing." Emmett sighed. "Get a grip man, stop being a pussy and moping. Its all your fault anyways." I flipped him off which gave him and Jasper another round of hysterics. I passed Alice on my way to my room, she grimaced and rolled her eyes at me, but other wise, pretended I didn't exist. Cousin or not, shit was getting old.

There's been a lot of 'ignoring Edward' going on around here lately. Mainly Alice and Rosalie. My parents just shook their heads at me, and Emmett and Jasper make fun of me.

Its been almost two weeks since my fight with Bella and its been the most miserable days of my life. The day after, I tried going to her house and talking things out but Charlie wouldn't let me in because she didn't want to see me. It's winter break so there's no school where I could have cornered her into talking to me. And its like Alice and Rosalie have become her body guards or something. Their always there whenever Charlie goes to work, protecting her from me.

At first I felt ashamed because I was stupid, then I was angry that she wouldn't talk to me like an adult, now I'm ashamed again because she's hurting and its because of me. I can't be there to make her pain go away because I'm the one who caused it. Emmett was right, it is all my fault, but I couldn't lie to her. Wouldn't that have been worse? Its not like I don't trust her with my heart, because she'd be one of the only few people I ever would trust. But I thought I wasn't ready, and I guess it came out wrong. I meant it when I said I didn't deserve her. She needs someone who's not afraid of what _could_ happen and someone to be with her with what _is_ happening.

Since the incident of Tanya showing her true colors, I've kind of held up a wall. I loved her, and what she did to me left scars on my heart. But Bella always tore that wall down whenever she was around and left me exposed. The scars would vanish, but what was left was the fear of what she could do to me since she was immune to my wall. She could _destroy_ me. Love is scary and fucked up like that, I should know. So I let my fear takeover my brain, overlooking the logic that this was Bella, sweet Bella, and she would never be like Tanya. Don't get me wrong, she could be a hard ass, but still. I allowed my fucking brain to totally ignore how she made me happy, how she healed my heart, and let my mouth run wild.

The last two weeks of nothing but silence from her have been tortuous. It made me realize how much she is apart of me. It made me see that I rather take my time with Bella and take things slow and have her heal my wounds than anything else.

I laughed into my pillow at my thoughts. Emmett and Jasper would dub me number one pussy if they ever heard what I've been thinking.

"Care to share the joke?" I turned my head to the doorway where my mom stood. My mom doesn't knock. "May I come in?" she asked. I was shocked she _asked _a didn't just walk right in, but I shrugged it off. I nodded and scooted up with my back against the headboard. She closed the door, sat on the edge of my bed and patted my leg. She analyzed my face for a long while before speaking.

"Okay Edward, we're going to talk, right now, and no aversions, understood?" she pointed he finger at me, looking me dead in the eye, and I knew she meant business. I sighed and got comfortable. She began.

"Now, I want to first apologize about all of our behaviors lately. It was childish and it wasn't fair to you. Whatever went on between you and Bella is you guys business and none of ours, and we shouldn't have treated you like that. But you need to understand, we all love Bella as family. You are my son, and I love you, but you hurt my daughter. I just don't understand. You guys have been best friends forever, and its obvious to everyone that you belong together. You've gone through so much together, it doesn't make sense to throw it away. What's up? Why did you say what you said?" she asked, seeming really just curious.

I sighed and my mom ran her hand through my hair, comforting me. So I told her everything, and I told her the truth. I told her why and how I justified it. I also told her how I tried to make things right but Bella didn't want to hear it. When I finished I felt defeated. What else could I do if she wouldn't talk to me?

"Oh sweetie, I understand now. But let me tell you, you can't let fear stop you from doing what you know is right. People do a lot of stupid shit out of fear, me included, but you can't give into it, because that's what it wants." she said softly in the mom tone that instantly makes you like everything will be okay.

"What did you ever do out of fear?" I inquired curiously.

"Well, that's another story for another time." she patted my face and winked. "But right now there's some people here that owe you an apology too." she walked to open the door so Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie could come in. "Your father got a call from the hospital, so let's call my apology his too." I nodded and glanced at the guilty faces of my friends and family. Looked like my mom really told them off.

Emmett spoke first. "Sorry for making fun of you bro, about the Bella thing. It wasn't my place." he faked pouted. I got up and gave him a man hug.

"No beef. I did kind of deserve it."

"Oh, and I heard your mushy talk with mom, don't think I'm letting that go." he murmured to me low enough so mom wouldn't hear. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah man. We shouldn't have done that to you. Still cool?" Jasper asked and held his hand out. I grabbed it and gave him a man hug too.

"Always dude. Just know that I'm going to get you back." I grinned. He murmured a low "fuck" and grimaced.

"Yeah Edward, I'm sorry for keeping you from talking to Bella. If I had known how you were really feeling and that you weren't just being a punk-bitch," Esme glared at her, "I would have made Bella talk to you myself. My bad." Rosalie said.

"Its cool Rose, at least you know now." she nodded smiled at me. I turned to Alice whom was looking down at the floor. She had been the worst to me so I didn't expect it to be so easy for her. I wasn't about to stand around waiting for her to apologize either, so I was about to say thanks and get them out my room when Esme spoke.

"Alice, what did I say." Alice looked down a little longer before looking up at me, her expression furious. I almost cringed. Almost.

"I'm sorry you hurt my friend" she snapped and walked out.

"I'll go-" Rose started.

"No. I got it." I ran after her. I found her in her room getting ready to leave, her back to me.

"Alice, listen-"

She spun around and could have swore I heard her snarl. "No, you listen. I heard everything you said to Esme, but that doesn't make breaking my best friend's heart okay. You don't know what I've had to deal with these last two weeks. How….how broken she's been. It was like talking to a ghost. She's just starting to get some color back. But what really pisses me off is how you told me you were in love with her, had me encourage her to pour her heart out to you on stage, and then you stabbing us both in the back ." she spit through her teeth.

"I didn't know she was going to do that! I was in shock, and everything I said to her came out wrong. I never dreamed Bella felt that way about me. You never told me, not even a hint. What the hell was I supposed to do?" I let all my pint up anger out. I was tired of her shit. I embraced it. Being angry was better than hurting. "But I've been trying to fix it for the last to weeks, but _you've _been in my way. And don't tell me how hurt Bella is, she's not the only fucked up one. I know this is my fault, but don't you think I'm beating myself up enough? I will never forgive myself for hurting her, and I don't need you rubbing salt into my wounds." I sighed when I finished and sat in a chair by the door to put my head in my hands, all my anger suddenly vanished, which left me feeling numb. What a fucking mess I was.

"I need her Alice. She's the one for me. Without her I feel lost. Completely and utterly fucking lost." my voice cracked and a lump got caught in my throat. I was suddenly fighting back tears. I heard her gasp and looked.

She had her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes. "Oh. My. Gosh." she whispered.

"What?"

"You're in love with Bella." she stated.

I laughed humorously. This shit wasn't funny but it was. Everything was so fucked up I had to laugh. "No shit Sherlock. That's what I've been trying to tell everyone for the last two weeks."

She studied me for a long while then began pacing. Her mood changed like a light switch. From dark to light. Well, not light, but thoughtful. "Aw shit Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Shit, what a mess I've made. If I would have let you just talk to Bella, you guys would not be the messes you are. And she even wanted to talk to you too, but I wouldn't let her. Oh my fuck…this is all my fault. Fuck me, this is all my fault. Oh shit, I gotta make this right." I raised my eyebrows.

"Bella wanted to talk to me?" I asked, not sure I'd heard her right. She glanced sheepishly at me, slowing in her pacing.

"Well…"

"Alice."

"Um, yeah. Kind of. She feels horrible for how it all went down and wanted to talk it out, but Rose and I convinced her not to. At the time, you were the bad guy, you kind of still are, and we just wanted to protect her. We didn't know what we know now. Or at least we weren't sure." she paced and avoided my gaze. I took a deep breath, swallowing my anger. Couldn't do shit about it now.

"it's all my fault." she continued.

I felt better to have some of the weight of this situation directed at some one else, so I rubbed it in.

"It sure in the hell is your fault. If you would have let Bella and I communicate then everything would probably all peachy by now." I retorted.

"I wouldn't go that far fucktard." she shot back. She stopped pacing and looked at me. Like, _really _looked. The kind of looking that made you feel violated.

"Cousin, I hate to say this, but you look like shit." she grimaced.

"What a pleasant compliment." I said sarcastically.

"No, dude. You look like you haven't eaten, slept, or showered in…two weeks."

"Your point is?" I asked bleakly. She though for a minute and started talking to herself while pacing again. She does that sometimes. We don't mind, Alice has always been a little strange. It's when she starts answering herself, that's when we have a problem.

"I got it!" she sang at last, stopped in front of me and grabbed my face. "You need to be showered, shaved, and dressed in forty minutes. Capice?" she mashed my cheeks.

"Why?"

"Because I'm a about to make things all better." she had this mischievous look in her eyes that I immediately questioned. Alice with a plan could be frightening.

"But-"

"No questions! Just go and shower. Your clothes will be on your bed when you're done." I sighed. There was no use in fighting. I didn't have it in me anyway. I was tired of fighting in a obvious one man war. Maybe it was just no use. Alice screamed for Rosalie and beckoned me out of her room.

I got up out of her room to shower and get ready for whatever she had planned, feeling utterly confused, yet like something good could come of this.

….

"Dude, that was The Fray, The Fray!" Alice screamed in my ear amongst twenty thousand people.

It's been three hours and Alice still hasn't told me shit. I'm dressed in a black t-shirt, dark fitted jeans and black boots for I don't know what. Of what I can tell from the obvious was we were at some type of charity concert called "Hope for Hearts" with all these famous people performing. So far there's been The Fray, Secondhand Serenade, Carrie Underwood, Drake, and Leona Lewis.

Alice seemed to be having the time of her life. Me? Not so much. I still don't know why the fuck we're here. I didn't feel like partying, and I would think Alice knew that. She said she was going to help me with Bella, so why the fuck are we here? Whenever I try to ask her the reason of us being here, she tells me some shit like "have patience young grasshopper" or "patience is a virtue" or, my personal favorite, "leave me the fuck alone and wait." I would have left a long time ago if she wasn't my ride and if I had any idea where the fuck I was. I think she knew that so she talked me into riding with _her_. Plus, she keeps disappearing and its getting on my fucking nerves. What ever she was up to, it wasn't good, I knew that much. Sneaky fucking pixie.

I looked down at her to try again but she gave me a wistful look. "Okay Edward, this is why you're here." I huffed. Fina-fucking-lly. "Remember how Bella won the talent show and got a chance at a record deal?" I nodded. She went on. "Well, the big wig dude gave her a chance to get signed. The deal was that if she performs well tonight, she gets signed. This is her chance." she spun around, motioning to the theater.

I furrowed my brow, confused. If this was Bella big chance that means…"Bella's performing?" I shouted incredulous.

"Yes! That's where I've been going back and forth all night. Helping her get ready. But don't get to happy, because the song's about you."

"What chu talkin 'bout, shorty?" I asked suspiciously. She looked sheepish.

"Well, after you did what you did, I told her to put all her feelings in a song, and…um…"

"Its not a happy song." I specified. I rolled my eyes at the obvious. Duh it wasn't going to be about riding into the sunset and swimming in rainbows. I just hoped she wasn't going to sing about castrating me. Even though, knowing Bella, I might not be far off. She tends to move to the dark side when she's felling emotional, and it comes out in her writing. She can get full blown emo with it. I pray she didn't go that far.

She blew out a breath. "No where near. Just know, you've got major damage control." I groaned. "Yeah. So get ready, cause she's about to go on."

"Can she see us?"

"I told here where to look."

"Does she know I'm here?" I doubted she did. She probably wouldn't have come.

"Do you think she would be able to go through with this if she did? And really look at her when she goes on. Rose and I worked our magic on what we could, and she looks beautiful, but since you know her like we do, I think you'll be able to see underneath." I frowned. This is bad.

"Hey." Rosalie said coming up behind us.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I probed. Did that mean everyone else was here too?

"I'm the one who dragged Bella here since Alice was babysitting you."

"Is everyone else here too?" Alice nodded.

"Bella didn't want anyone to come really. I was supposed to be the only one, but you see how that worked out. Their all here some where, but Bella won't know. I figured you would need the support."

I smiled at her. She could be a pain in the ass, but I wouldn't trade her for the world. "Thanks cuz. I owe you."

"Yeah yeah. Lets just call it even for now, Kay?" she held her hand out.

"Okay." I shook her hand.

"Gag, I'm going to puke." Rose muttered monotonous. "Let's focus on Bella now please. You guys can make out later."

"Must you be so crude?" Alice gave her a disgusted look.

Rose shrugged. "Its what I do." I grinned at them and turned to the stage.

_Let give it up for new, up and coming artist, Bella!_

The lights focused on Bella standing with guitar in hand and mouth to the mike. Alice was right, she was beautiful, but I saw behind her light make up and white cocktail dress.

Underneath the radiance was a sad girl. I could see the shadow of dark circles under the make-up. And she looked like she lost weight. Her eyes searched the crowd until they connected with mine. Her jaw dropped a little, and she looked like she wasn't breathing. She composed herself and smiled at the crowd, starring me dead in the eye. I could see under her mask though.

"This is to that one person who took you for granted. They know who they are." she murmured in a hard voice. Shit, that stung.

She took a deep breath and began to strum her guitar. Her eyes never left mine like they did that fatal night two weeks ago, and she was singing to me. I was entranced.

_White Horse_

_Say you're sorry _

_That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to_

_As I pace back and forth all this time _

_Cause I honestly believed in you_

_Holding on _

_The days drag on_

_Stupid girl _

_I should've known I should've known _

_That I'm not a princess_

_This ain't a fairytale_

_I'm not the one you sweep off her feet_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood_

_This is a small town _

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse _

_To come around_

_Baby I was naïve _

_Got lost in your eyes_

_I never really had a chance_

_I had so many dreams about you and me _

_Happy endings _

_Now I know_

_That I'm not a princess_

_This ain't a fairytale_

_I'm not the one you sweep off her feet_

_Lead her off the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood_

_This is a small town _

_I was a dreamer before you and you let me down_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse _

_To come around_

_And there you are on your knees _

_Beggin for forgiveness _

_Beggin for me _

_Just like I always wanted _

_But I'm so sorry_

_Cause I'm not your princess_

_This ain't a fairytale_

_I'm gonna find someone someday _

_Who might actually treat me well_

_This is a big world, that was a small town_

_There in my rearview mirror disappearing now_

_And it's too late for you and your white horse _

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse_

_To catch me now_

_Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa _

_Try and catch me now_

_Oh oh _

_It's too late _

_To catch me now._

Our gazes broke. Bella smiled and waved at the crowd whom was giving her an standing ovation, and rushed off stage. Throughout the whole song she stared into my eyes. The emotions I saw pass through her eyes ranged from anger to sadness to love to confusion. The whole performance was heartrending yet beautiful. The song itself was mesmerizing in its own. I could feel her pain through the lyrics and it hurt me. But one thing stood out from all of that.

She went there. She hates me. Fuck my life.

I turned to Alice as the crowd began to disperse. She was giving me apprehensive looks. I glowered at her.

"Alice." I growled.

"What? I told you it was bad. You knew she wasn't going to be singing about how much she loves you. Get over it." she shrugged.

"You didn't tell me she practically hated me!" I yelled.

"Oh, come on. She doesn't hate you." she waved me off.

"Well, the song made it perfectly fucking clear she wants nothing to do with me. 'It's too late for you and your white horse' pretty much sounds like fuck off in my vocabulary."

"Oh goodness, stop being such a pussy. She still loves you! She still wants to be with you! That was just her way of trying to let you go. But I know Bella, and that ain't gon happen." she said nonchalantly. "I wouldn't be helping you try and get her back if I didn't think this would work. I wouldn't put her or you through that again. You belong together, its going to work. Don't worry, I'll talk to her."

"You better." If this backfired, it was her ass.

"You better." she mocked. I was about to comment when my favorite voice spoke.

"Hey guys." Bella said in a clipped tone. I would have never recognized her if I weren't so attuned to her voice. She had changed into black jeans, a hoodie and chucks. Her hair was in a pony tail, her makeup was off, and her reading glasses were on. It was a total transformation from the broken angel that was just on stage, though she looked gorgeous either way.

She glanced at me then looked down to Alice. The look Bella gave her had Alice cringing into the railings. "I need to talk to you." she walked off without another word. Alice pouted at me and went after Bella. I looked after them as they disappeared into the crowd and sighed. How the hell was I going to fix this? Rose patted me on the back.

"Aw, cheer up. It's not over. You'll get her back, I promise." It was a little strange when Rose got sentimental, also extremely rare. She was like a girl version of Emmett in that way, crude and all. But I could tell she was trying to help so I tried not to act surprised.

I gave her a halfway smile. "Thanks Rose." We stood there for a minute, not knowing what to say.

"It looks like they're going to be a while, so do you want to go get a drink?" she asked.

"But I wanted to try and talk to Bella…." she was shaking her head before I finished.

"Don't worry. Alice and Bella'll be out in no time. So for now, I feel you need a drink." she patted my back once more and began to walk away, beckoning me to follow with her hand.

"I didn't see a bar on the way in."

"I know, its underground. One of the performers is having a after party down there. Its supposed to be on the down low, but Emmett knows the dudes brother so he got us in. He and Jasper are waiting down there. The parentals left already so its safe."

She lead me down some long dark hallway that ended at a elevator and a big buff guard. He kind of reminded me of Emmett with his size. The guard at the elevator checked our names off the list, checked our fake IDs, well my fake ID, and let us on. When we got to the bottom the party was banging. I followed Rose to the bar and we both ordered JD.

"Hey, Emmett's not answering his phone. I'm going to go find him. Stay here for when Alice and Bella come." I nodded and drank my drink.

"Hey baby." some chick purred a little while after Rosalie left. I choked on my drink and turned to her. Her proximity made me take a step back.

"Uh, sup." I pretended to look around the club, hoping she would get the hint. No luck.

"Want to dance?" she asked and caressed my arm. It gave me goose bumps.

"No," I said as politely as I could. I shook her hand off my arm. "I'm actually waiting for some friends." The last thing I needed was Bella to see some girl hanging all over me. That would just fuck me to know end, if I wasn't already.

"Well there isn't anyone here now, so it looks like you got time." Damn, she was persistent, wasn't she? She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me to the dance floor, in the process making me spill my drink on some dude on my other side. He was way buffer than me but a little shorter. I was squaring myself up to him in my head until he opened his mouth.

"Oh no bitch, you did not just do that! You got alcohol on my new Gucci!" he squealed and tried to shake some off of his back. It kind of made me want to laugh. From the looks of his voice, posture, and clothes, he was either very in tuned with his feminine side or gay. Before I could speak though the random chick opened her mouth.

"Oh babe, looks like you made an oppsie." she giggled at me and then turned to glare at to the dude. "Its not real Gucci anyway." she snapped. I stared at her wide eyed, dumbfounded. Who the fuck _is _this girl? The dude got all red in the face looking embarrassed and ran away. The chick laughed.

"Now, how about that dance." she whispered in my ear, her voice made my skin crawl. Of course, my mom taught me to be a gentleman, but she also taught me that no means no, and for some reason it seems some parents slip at teaching their kids that rule. That just makes those of us who get pestered by them lives that much harder. So she also taught me that when politeness doesn't work sell it to them straight. I often try to keep my cool, but sometimes I slip, like how I'm about to now. But before I could tell her fuck off someone else did it for me.

"Back the fuck off bitch." Bella sneered getting in the chicks face. I could tell by her empty but focused expression and the way her mouth was set that she was beyond angry.

She was in that state where she saw no consequences for her actions, the one where she only saw vengeance. I've only seen this expression a handful of times, one was when she beat Tanya's ass. She didn't even get this mad when we fought two weeks ago. When she was in this state I knew better than to try and stop her, unless she was about to kill someone, that is. In which she definitely would because she wouldn't give a shit until afterwards. Her therapist been trying to work on that.

The chick crossed her arms and stood her ground. I shook my head for her. I felt bad for what Bella _could_ and _would_ do to her. She needed to get the hell out of dodge, Bella was psycho.

"Why? Who the fuck are you." she retorted.

Alice and Rosalie came out of nowhere and caught Bella's flanks while Emmett and Jasper caught mine, pulling me back some so the girls were in the middle. The girl didn't even flinch at being outnumbered. "I'm about to be your worst nightmare if you don't get the fuck away from him."

"Oh, is he _yours_. Cause I didn't see a sign on him reading 'Property of Skank', so maybe you should check yourself." she taunted, putting her hands on her hips. Somehow Bella kept her cool, but the smile that spread on her face was deadly.

"Look whore, all I know is that you better get the fuck away from him before I do something to you that will make me go back to jail." Yeah, Bella's a felon. She was charged with a Misdemeanor on Battery for almost beating someone to death. Who knows where she would be if I hadn't of made it to her in time. Or where the guy would be.

By now there was a crowd around our little section of people. The girl's eyes widened a little at Bella's threat and she smirked. Maybe the girl did have some sense.

"Bitch please. He would never want someone like _you_." the girl countered. At that, Bella's eyes went black and the next thing I knew the girl was on the floor. Everyone swarmed around her as Alice tried to pull Bella away. I stepped in and helped.

"We have to get her out of here. This could ruin everything for her." Alice shouted, struggling with an enraged Bella who was trying to get back to the girl. I nodded and threw Bella over my shoulder. Over Alice's head I saw the guards coming east so I went west with Alice on my tail. The girl laid howling on the floor that her nose was broke as Alice, Bella and I disappeared out the back.

When we made it outside Alice said "follow me" and led the way down a long narrow alley. Bella was stiff on my shoulder, I could feel her arms crossed on my back. As we walked I tried to appreciate the feel of having her in my arms. Until now I hadn't realized how much I'd in fact missed her. I knew I'd missed her, but to actually have her in my arms was a powerful force of reality. I didn't just miss her. I'd missed the simple things we used to do together and the moral support we provided each other. I'd missed just being able to hug her and hold her, even as just her friend. It was mind-boggling. The saying, you never miss something till its gone, finally became clear.

We made it out the alley into the parking lot. Alice guided us to her car and opened the back door of the car, then walked to the other side to get in and start the car. I sat Bella down on her feet and she immediately got in the car without giving me a glance. I guess her protectiveness of me had changed nothing between us. I didn't understand why the hell she'd done it myself, but I sure in the hell was going to find out. I hopped in the back seat with her and Alice looked at me from the rearview mirror and nodded, putting her earphones in, assuming I didn't want an audience for this, which I didn't.

Bella had her head turned away from me towards the window, arms crossed, sitting as far away as the car would allow.

"Bella?" I whispered. No answer.

"Bella." I said a little firmer. She sniffled. My heart cracked, she was crying. I scooted over more to her side so we were hip to hip and pulled her into my arms. Looked like I wasn't going to get my answers tonight, She struggled at first, but I let her know that I was not letting go. That I was not giving up. Not ever again. I would fight for her till the end. She was it for me, she was my one. I knew I might not ever in my life be good enough for her, but that what I would always fight to be. She was worth it, and so much more. She was my angel and the only heaven I ever wanted to be in was one with her.

She sobbed in my arms, and I held her as tight as gravity would allow. Miraculously, she held on to me just as tight. I felt the years of our old friendship still intact. And I knew, somehow, that we would always be united in a way no fight could ever break; it was everlasting.

Bella fell asleep along the way but never let go of me. I stared at her face as she slept in the silhouette of the street lights. She was beautiful, she always had been. After to my mom, since second grade, she's always been the number one girl in my life. She's been my rock, and what a dumb ass I was to let that slip through my fingers. She freaking gave her heart to me, and I put it aside. She wrote me a fucking _song_ and what did I do? I balled it up and threw it in the fucking trash. Man, am I the worlds largest asshole or what? I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want me. Shit, _I _wouldn't want my idiotic ass. But she had to hear me out. She had to know everything I felt for her. And in the end she could do what ever she wanted, I wouldn't budge her an inch from whatever she chose to do. But she was going to know that I would always be there in the shadows fighting for her. She had to know that I would jump and fall for her.

We got to my house and I carried Bella out of the car. I stared at Alice questionably, wondering why we hadn't dropped Bella off at her house.

"Bella's spending the night with me. Charlie said it was fine, long as Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle were here." she explained. I nodded. This made things easier. I took Bella to the guest room across from Alice's room. I kissed her forehead and laid her down but she wouldn't let go. Her face puckered a little. I leaned down to whisper her ear.

"Bella, babe, you have to let go." I waited for a minute then tried to detach myself again. She still wouldn't let go. She opened one eye and pouted.

"Stay." she said. That was all I needed. It took all my face muscles to stop the goofy smile that wanted to spread. I wanted to do a happy dance. I would do what she asked, and ask questions later.

"Okay. I just need to go change." she let me go and sunk back into the pillows. I went to my room and changed as fast as I could, into basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, I even put on deodorant.

Its not like Bella and I have never slept in the same bed together, but it was _way _different. Then we were just a pair of crazy best friends who had never done anything more than hug, and we had never dreamed of going any further. Now, with the change of my feelings for her, I saw her differently. I mean, Bella had always been hot, but now I wanted to…you know, do things….things that I had never in my _life _thought of doing with Bella. So tonight might be a challenge for my wild hormones.

When I got to her room she was laying face down on top of the covers in nothing but boy shorts and tank top in the dark with nothing but the moonlight. I had to think of my grandma Liz to stop my hard on at the sight of her ass in those barely there shorts.

"Alice." she explained into the pillow for her clothing. "Shut the door and lock it." I did and made my way to the bed.

"Figures." Alice was forever tying to make Bella as girly as she was. But she didn't realize that Bella was perfect in everyway already. I sat down on the edge of the bed, willing my cock not to pitch a tent in my shorts. Bella sat up and her long hair flowed over her shoulders like a blanket. Her tank top was low cut so I could see the tops of her breast perfectly.

"Dude, seriously?" she asked, a little smile on her face. She'd caught me staring.

"Sorry, they're just so nice." I countered. I really looked at her face this time and frowned. Her eyes were red and puffy. I sighed and turned to face her fully, my other "head" forgotten.

"Bella, we need to-" she put her hand over my mouth.

"I know, but not tonight."

"But-"

"No buts. Tonight I want, no, I _need_ you to do something for me." she whispered desperately. How the fuck could I object to that? Or rather, _why_ the fuck would I object to that? I owed her everything she wanted and so much more.

"Anything." I whispered back. She took a deep breath and moved onto her knees. She put her hands on shoulders and moved closer so we were chest to chest. She looked me dead in the eye and then leaned toward my face.

Shit.

"Bella." I whispered when she was inches from my lips. I understood what she wanted immediately. "We cant do this, not now. Not while we still need to talk. We…." I was running out of excuses. I mean, she was offering the one thing I wanted most. I knew for a fact that when her lips touched mine it would be a done deal. I wouldn't be able to stop. Once we got started we were going to finish. I moved away from her some so I could keep a straight head, her scent was intoxicating.

"Don't Bella me, Edward. I know what your thinking. You're thinking I'm not thinking clearly. You're thinking I'm going to regret this once its done. But you're wrong Edward, you're wrong. I know what I want." she moved on my lap and held my face, staring into my eyes. I caught her hands as she pressed her forehead to mine. "I know what I _need_." her voice quivered and tears ran down her face "And right now I need _you_. Please." she pleaded. My will began to crumble as I stared at all the pain I'd caused her, cross her face. How could I deny her what she needed after all I've already done? But why now?

"Are you drunk?" I inquired. I kind of knew she wasn't but I had to put it out there. In the back of my mind, deep down I my heart I knew this was right. I knew I needed this too. I needed to _feel_ her, to be inside her and unmask the deepest most beautiful treasures of her soul.

Deep, huh? Yeah, I can a sappy pussy when I want.

She huffed, angry now. "No, you fucktard. I'm perfectly sober. And I think you would smell it if I was wasted. Now, I know you want this Edward, I can see it in your eyes…" Eyes? It was probably written all over my face. Goodness knows my dick was front and center, ready for action. "So what's it going to be?"

My breath became shaky. And it wasn't from nervousness. I could never be nervous before sex, I was too much of a pro. But I could also never be self-conscious with Bella. I was as comfortable with the idea of having sex with her as I was the thought of doing it with my self. That might not be the perfect metaphor, but you get the picture. I felt whole with her. I was just scared at the prospect of her waking up in the morning and thinking this was a mistake. Regretting everything that would happen if we kissed. I was afraid that this was really a bad idea, no matter what my heart said, and I would lose my best friend for good. I also had an errant thought that she was using me, but I banished that assumption as quickly as it came. This was Bella. This was Bella whose eyes told me that she loved me and cared, as if she could read my mind and was trying to reassure me that everything would be okay. So I told my head to shut the fuck up and spoke. "As long as your sure…" she nodded and leaned in to kiss me again. I met her half way and I was in heaven.

What a beautiful first kiss. You might imagine that since Bella and I grew up together that we'd assumingly shared all our first times together. If you thought that, you were on mars, and this is earth. Like I said, we'd never done anything more intimate than hug, it was never romantic with us. We were more or less like brother and sister. If someone told me ten years ago I would be making out with Bella, about to have _sex_ with her, I would have called them a pervert and punched them. So yeah, nothing had ever happened. So this kiss was everything. I had no idea how talented she was with her mouth. I thought I was the Pucker king (Emmett).

Our kissing became frantic and my hands were everywhere. I was no virgin, but this all felt so new. Her kisses were different than anything I've ever felt before. It was like I could live on just her kisses alone forever and never need more. She licked my bottom lip asking for entrance and I granted it. Her tongue was soft in my mouth, but her hands were rough on my chest.

"Shirt off, now." she ordered. I obliged and she took hers off as well. My eyes widened a little when I found she wasn't wearing a bra. The last time I'd seen Bella naked was seventh grade when I accidentally walked in on her getting out of the shower from one of Alice's sleepovers. Then, she was my tomboy best friend and it was gross. But I knew that the little bumps that were forming meant something was changing. But to be able to see how they turned out just made me harder than I thought I could get. Her boobs were so perfect. As I was staring at her chest she was staring at mine, so I moved my hands towards them very slowly until I was there. My hands fit so perfectly it was like they were made to hold them. Her mouth attacked mine again and I groped her breast, she moaned.

"No pants. Off too." she growled. Dominant Bella was so fucking hot. I pushed her back on the bed and situated myself between her legs without removing my mouth from hers. I moved my lips to her neck and began nipping and sucking. I let my hands wander down her stomach to her waist band and pulled them down. She lifted her hips so I could take them off and I sat up. I found another surprise waiting for me down there.

"You didn't have any underwear on either?" I whispered in surprise as I stared at her perfect, pink, wet core in the light of the moon. I looked up at her and I could see in the darkness her face was red. She was blushing. Gorgeous.

"Just take the fucking shorts off." I smirked.

"Your wish is my command." I took her pants all the way off and she laid fully naked before me. She got to her knees, pressed her lips to mine, and grabbed my waist band.

"Lay down." I laid. She straddled me and then bent down to suck my neck. I had always hated hickies, they were tacky. Tanya used to love them so people could see that she was taken. I found it disgusting. But if Bella was giving them, I would take them. She started to kiss down my chest but stopped at my waist band to look at me from under her eyelashes. She looked so sexy my cock twitched. Bella pulled my pants off and set my throbbing member free. Her jaw dropped a little at the sight. I had to admit, I was a little above average.

"How…big, are you?" she uttered. My ego grew some at her astonishment.

"Nine." I smirked.

"Huh." she shook her head a bit and dove straight down onto my cock before I got a chance to stop her. I jumped a bit at her suddenness, then hissed as her lips spread over the tip. She licked from the tip to the bottom and back again. She then took the whole thing in her mouth and began to suck. I moaned and groaned on the bed, not quite able to suppress them. My stomach began to tighten and I knew I was close. She bobbed and sucked harder and my hand went in her hair to guide her. I got louder and Bella came up with a pop, but continued to pump me with her hand.

"Now now Edward, you have to shut the fuck up if you don't want to get caught. Grab the pillow and bite it." I stared at her like she was speaking gibberish. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than her hand "Now," she snapped. I pulled a pillow from the top of the bed and put it in my mouth while she was still pumping me. She nodded, "Good boy," and put her mouth back on me. What was I, a dog? I didn't dare ask her that though. That was sure to kill the mood, or make her more dominant and make me act like a puppy. But I tried to shut my mind up and concentrate on my task at hand. Or rather, the task at _mouth_. I was almost there and she began sucking harder and faster until I came full blast in her mouth while moaning her name into the pillow. I fell back onto the covers as she sucked me dry. She came up the bed and sat by me as I caught my breath.

"How in the hell did you learn to suck dick like that?" I asked when I could speak.

She smirked. "None ya." I rolled my eyes. I guess I didn't really want to know anyway. I rolled over until I on top of her and captured her lips. I caught her tongue in my mouth and sucked on it. She caught my upper lip and pulled it.

"Your turn." I kissed my way down her neck to her breast and licked the right one. She moaned and I smiled. I sucked on her nipple and pinched the left one, trying to show attention to both. I switched to the left side and did the same. Bella began whimpering impatiently, a change from her recently dominant self, and started to push my head down. I chuckled at her aggravation.

"Stop fucking with me, Edward. You know what I want." she roared. I pulled up until I was eyelevel with her. I kissed and nibbled at her lips. At that moment I realized I would never get tired of them. I would never get bored at the act of kissing her. Her lips were so plump and soft, so wonderful. And they molded to mine perfectly. I couldn't believe that I'd lived with out them for so long. I decided I needed to make up for the lost time. So sometime after tonight, and if she still wanted me, we were going to spent _a lot _of time kissing.

"You're right, I do know what you want. So why don't you be quiet and let me give it to you." I told her. I raised an eyebrow and dared her to object. She gasped a little at the role switches but other than that nodded. Once again I made my way down her body and took a quick stop to kiss each of her breast, staring into her scorching chocolate brown eyes. Her breathing quickened after I licked her navel, but never broke eye contact. I gently kissed and caressed each thigh as I put her legs over my shoulders and pulled her hot core closer to my face.

I inhaled deeply and breathed on her pick lips. She smelled delicious. I licked her cilt and sucked. She moaned loudly and arched her back. I had a feeling she was about two seconds from screaming. I was just that good. But with a house full of people, sleeping people whom would most likely disapprove on what was going on in this guest room, she needed to shut up. I pulled back. She looked up.

"Why'd you stop?" she breathed heavily.

"Pillow." she complied quickly and I got back to business. I licked up and down her silt as she muffled moans into the pillow. I added two fingers and pumped her as I sucked her nub. I swear, she tasted like strawberries, it was amazing. I could feel her walls start to clinch around my fingers so I added another and pumped her harder. Her cries became louder as she grew closer. She screamed my name as she came, even though it was kind of smothered by the pillow. I licked her clean as she came down from her high.

"Damn. You're good." she praised as I crawled back up to her. She put her legs around my back. I kissed her and our tongues tangled together.

"I know." I smirked around her lips. She rolled her eyes and sucked my lips. Most girls I've gone down on were disgusted by the taste of themselves. But I knew Bella wasn't like most girls from the day I laid eyes on her.

"Are you sure…" I asked her again. I wanted her to be positive this is what she wanted. I wanted this more than anything but I could wait. I've dreamed of making love to Bella for a while now, but I had no idea it would come so soon. I was prepared to wait as long as she wanted to. And there was still a little part of me who needed to know this is what she really wanted. Everything in the world rested on this moment, and it could either end good or bad. So I had to ask again before I sent her into complete oblivion. And believe me, it was going to happen. She was about to see stars.

She gazed into my eyes and caressed my face with a feather light touch. "I know we have some things to work out…but I'm a hundred and ten percent sure about you." she told me with so much sincerity I had believed her. And I knew exactly what she was telling me. She was saying that even though we were a mess right now, we would find a way. We always did, and we would do it together. I knew this would fix nothing, and we weren't together, but that was irrelevant at the moment. I knew from somewhere deep down that Bella loved me with the same passion I loved her. I knew that she would always be there with me through all my fuck ups and triumphs. Through thick or thin and rain or snow we would always be Edward and Bella. A team till the very end and no stacks of odds could destroy such a bond. I probably sound real corny right now, but that shit was the truth.

I smiled at her, she smiled back, and I knew this was right. "Condom?" she asked. I nodded and reached over to the night stand to get one.

"Okay, why would there be condoms in the guest bedroom? Which is really my room."

I shrugged. "Mom keeps them stashed everywhere now for Emmett and Rosalie. You never know where _they_ might end up."

"So Em and Rose have been in here?" I shook my head.

"No. I know for a fact Alice keeps this door locked until you come to spend the night. Mom is just being precautious." I ripped the condom open and rolled it on. I positioned myself at her entrance and she spreaded her legs a little wider. I asked her with my eyes if she was ready and she nodded once, her expression a mixture of love, intensity and pleasure.

I slipped myself in inch by inch until I was fully seethed in her. Being in her was the most intense feeling I've ever felt. We were connected as one. Bella's breathing sped and she began to move up and down with her arms around my neck to create friction. I began to move at her pace. I wanted to go slow, to saver this moment with her for the rest of my life. I wanted this to be more than sex. Tonight I wanted to make love to her, and at the rate she was going it seemed she was thinking the same thing.

"Make love to me Edward." Dude, it was like we had this psychic bond or something. She moved her lips to mine as I slowly thrusted into her.

Man, if kissing Bella was _wonderful_, making love to her was _extraordinary_. Monumental. So superb I got lost in her. In the feel of her skin, her scent, her breath, everything Bella. I was pretty got-damn sure that I could never have sex with another girl and be satisfied. Never would I even want to share this delicate, gentle experience with anyone besides Bella. I could never caress someone else the way I was doing with Bella. I could never kiss someone so deeply and feel it in my toes the way I did Bella. And what was kind of ironic was that I never had with anyone before. I'd never taken the time to cherish every kiss, every moment of eye contact in where in felt as if I was in her mind and she was in mine. No one would ever make me feel the way Bella did. Our love was too powerful, every touch held power, even the slightest touch of her finger tips.

Our bodies wrapped together with passion and heat. It was slow and deep, yet, at the same time, demanding and hungry. I couldn't tell where my body ended and hers began, it was that consuming.

"Ung…harder…please." she whispered around my lips. I thrusted harder but kept my pace. All the sound in the room was our labor breathing and the rubbing of the sheets. I grabbed her hip and put it over my shoulder so I could go deeper. Bella was hella flexible. Her nails dug into my back and scratched deep. I knew I would have scars but the force of the pleasure I was feeling right now made the pain feel good.

"I'm…so…close…I'm…" Bella moaned.

"Me…too." I grunted into her collarbone. With the hand that wasn't gripping her thigh, I went down and rubbed her bundle of nerves to bring her closer. My thrusts became faster as my climax rose in my stomach. Bella's walls began to tighten and I knew she was there.

"Cum …with me…baby…cum…" Bella breathed in my ear. She began to moan loudly as her orgasm rose, but I couldn't give her a pillow this time. "Bite my shoulder." I told her. She did and after a few more thrust and we climaxed together. It was the most forceful thing I'd ever experienced. I had a feeling she bit the shit out of me but in that moment I didn't give a fuck. I knew I was going to have some serious scratches, and then again I didn't care. She could mark me all she wanted for the rest of my life and I'd die a happy man. I collapsed on top of her, not able to twitch a muscle. I felt her legs shaking under me so I rolled off of her with the last of my strength but pulled her to my chest as we caught out breaths.

At the moment we didn't need words. It was like the shock of what we had just did filled the room but was then washed away by the over load of complete bliss. that's what I felt, and I could feel it radiating off of Bella. We laid there for a while after that, both totally comfortable and content. I could of stayed that way forever.

At long last, she leaned up and kissed me softly on the lips. "Goodnight Edward." she yawned.

I yawned too and moved her hair out of her face to kiss her forehead. "Goodnight, my angel."

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><p><strong>AN: Ya'll know wassup. Tell me how you feel and I post more. Ahhh! I'm just so happy I got three! Awesome...**

**Until next time, I'm out!**

**Btw, I recomend "Anything for you" by G2, its really good and she needs some love, give some to my P.I.C, she worked really hard on it:)**


	3. When I Look At You

**A/N: , so you know when you do something and then you think, "shit, i should've done something else", or something along those lines? Yeah well, i didn't think about using another song for Bella and the benefit until after i posted it. i listed to this other song and was like "dam, this fits way better!". But oh well, I'll just use it in another chapter. I'm not telling you guys what it is either cause I'm a stinker. But I will say it is one fuckawesome song! And its not TaySwift. Hehe.  
><strong>

**Read. Love. Fuck:)**

**Ch.3****: ****When I Look At You**

**BPOV**

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><p>Fuck.<p>

No, no, no. Come on sleep. Come back. Sleep. Sleep come back…come back.

I squeezed my eyes tightly, refusing to open them, knowing it was a lost cause. Once I'm awake, I'm awake. You would have to drug me to get me to go back to sleep, something I know from experience. Nope, I won't see sleep again until later tonight. Beautiful, huh?

I moved my hand to my mouth to wipe the disgusting drool off when I realized my pillow was breathing.

Okay, maybe I'm still sleep.

Then I got the feel of my pillow. Smooth. Hard. Musky. Either I'm still unconscious or…I have no fucking idea, but this is not right.

"Why the hell are caressing my chest?" a husky voice asked. I jumped up and almost fell off the bed, catching myself on the dresser. What the fuck? The husky voice chuckled. I tuned my head and found Edward smirking at me, naked. A smirk that vanished and turned to concern as he caught sight of my face. I was about to ask why the fuck he was naked in my bed, when last nights events flooded my mind.

"Bella?" Edward's worried tone seemed far way as I contemplated what we did. I looked down and found I too was naked. I sighed and moved back on the bed, the sheet around me. Edward still wore a worried a expression, but it changed as he studied at my features. He moved his back to the headboard and waited patiently as I thought.

"So…." he said after a few moments. He sounded unsure of something and it confused me. I wasn't unsure of anything now that I remembered. I was happy.

I turned to look at him and saw the expression I'd told him not to wear, in a sense. It wasn't exactly regret, more so him fearing that I was regretting what had happened. Which I told him I wouldn't. His face was pitiful, it broke my heart. It was weird as hell seeing Edward so vulnerable. In a way he was the rock in this relationship, always the one I would fall on. He was the strongest person I knew.

I crawled up on my knees and straddled him, the sheet falling. Before he could ask what I was doing my lips were on his. He was shocked, but quickly snapped out of it. I wanted to erase all the doubt in his pretty little head. And at the moment I didn't give a shit about morning breath. The kiss heated as his hands gripped my back while mine were on his shoulders, pulling him closer. Man, I wanted to slap myself at all the years I'd missed on to kiss him. He was the worlds ultimate kisser, hands fucking down. These soft, luscious lips sure did know how to work it out. I could cum multiple times with nothing but his lips on me.

After a few minutes I broke away, wanting more. I could see he wanted to go further too, but he knew we needed to talk before what happened last night could happen again. I kissed him one more time and then put my forehead to his.

"Didn't I swear to you that I wasn't going to regret what we did?" I asked. His deep green eyes bored into mine, trying to see if I was telling the truth, I assumed. His expression switched to puzzled.

"But-"

"Ah, but nothing. Yes or no." I but my lip and raised my eyebrows. He knew the answer, but seemed afraid to say it. This wasn't right, Edward wasn't afraid of anything.

He sighed. "Yeah."

"So why in the hell did you think I did?"

He shrugged and avoided my eyes. I sighed and moved off of him, wrapping the sheet back around me and sitting next to him. Something told me that this was going to be a very, very, long talk.

Let get some things out there. I love Edward. I want to be with Edward. I do not regret sleeping with Edward.

But with all that, he still hurt me. For that last two weeks that's all I've been dwelling on. Alice and Rose haven't been big helps there either. More like adding insult to injury. Constantly spitting all their "man are no good" crap, when their men are their worlds! Dumb-asses. I know my friends and family tried to do what they thought was best, but a small part of me kept saying that all Edward and I needed to do was talk. But no on e would let me. Like Charlie not letting me talk to him, saying I needed time. Fuck time! Every time I tried to go see him they always stopped me by poking the wounds that kept getting bigger with each days passing of me not seeing Edward. A part of me kept saying that our fight was nothing but a mix of pint up emotions that needed to be let out and put on the table. My heart ached for Edward, even though he broke it, and it seemed like that ache would never go away. Edward and I had had fights before, so I couldn't see how this was any different.

Okay, so the song was a bit harsh, but I needed it to be. It had to be deep in order for me to feel better. It was therapy for me. Until I actually saw Edward at the concert I hadn't realized how much I missed him. How much I needed him. As I stared into his eyes when I sang the song it as if we were the only people in the world. His eyes exerted so much love and adoration I just about cried on stage. And yeah, I was mad that Alice had brought him without telling me, but I was also glad he was there. In a way, he needed to hear the song to feel how bad he hurt me. As fucked up as it sounds. That didn't mean I didn't want him or love him any less. Like I said, it was therapy. I had to get it out somehow.

Then I was really mad at Alice and Rose and everyone else because it all crashed down on me that I'd spent the last two weeks miserable for nothing. I knew right then and there that if we would have communicated everything would have been okay. I could also register the fact that I hadn't been the only one feeling like shit. Past that love and adoration, I saw he was sad. We were both nothing but big fucking messes with the easiest fucking solution staring right in our faces. Go figure.

Then when I talked to Alice she told me everything that Edward had said and how he felt. She told me that he felt awful for everything and loved me. The small voice in the back of my head clarified it, and somewhere deep down I had already knew. I wanted to strangle her, but I settled for an I told you so. She apologized and told me to work it out with him. We hugged and went off to find Edward when I saw the tramp all over him. I saw how he politely tried to get her to back off, but the bitch was persistent. After getting his drink spilled on some dude and making the dude almost cry, she had the audacity to touch what I saw as mine, even if he wasn't yet, exactly. And that's when I saw red. It gets kind of fuzzy from there because I kind of blanked out. The next thing I remember was Edward holding me in the car as I cried, then carrying me to the guest room and wanting him to stay with me. Wanting him to make love to me with all my being. Needing to feel every inch if him. And knowing that deep down it was what we both needed to relive all the tension between us.

And damn it if it wasn't incredible.

If sex with James was amazing, and man did _he_ know how to put it down, making love with Edward was mind-blowing. Making love with Edward was the most extraordinary, staggering, remarkable, special experience I've ever experienced. James wasn't my first, but he was good, maybe even great. I've had other fuck buddies that were good but Edward blew them out of the park. Edward was out of this world, in a category all his own. It was more than sex, more than making love, it was everything a girl wanted and more. It was something I can't even really put in words.

How Tanya could cheat on _that,_ was incomprehensible. I always felt her elevator didn't go all the way to the top floor. I think it stopped somewhere below the middle.

But now we're here. And I can't say the atmosphere is awkward, just…different. Last night changed everything between us. And at the moment we were stuck in a place where we have no idea what "us" is.

"Edward! Bella! You guys have two minutes to get up and dressed before aunt Esme comes in here to tell you to come down for breakfast and bust both you asses! I'm just saying." Alice whispered-shouted threw the door. Me and Edward cast each other panicked looks.

"Shit." we said in unison, our earlier problems put on hold.

In a split second we were both out of bed and running around the room looking for our clothes. I found my bag and put on a fresh bra and underwear set after hiding my clothes from last night as Edward was looking for his shirt. When we finished in about thirty seconds, I sprayed the room with air freshener (which Esme keeps in every room) because…you know, and Edward unlocked the door. We then hopped back in bed to play sleep. We turned our backs to each other under the covers just as we heard footsteps in the hallway. From there light sound they must've been Esme's as she stopped in Alice's room to tell her to come down for breakfast.

One thing about Esme, she doesn't knock. No matter who you are, she doesn't care. She feels it a insult to have to ask for entrance to a room in _her_ own house. Carlisle's more whatever with it. She warns you that if you're doing something you feel she can't see, then you shouldn't be doing it in her house. Esme's a G like that.

We heard her and Alice chatting in the hallway and it sounded as if Alice was stalling for us. After a few seconds Esme shooed her off and came to our door. My heart pounded in my chest. We were so screwed, no pun intended, if she suspected anything. God knows I can't lie to say my life. And I wasn't worried about her finding Edward and I in bed together because we've been sleeping in the same bed since elementary. I was tripping on the presumption of her weird mother senses kicking in. Man, would we be so fucked. Again, no pun intended. Much.

The door opened and we heard Esme gasp. I held my breath and kept my eyes shut as she walked to the foot of the bed. She just stood there, not saying anything, making me want to jump up and confess everything that happened. It made me wonder how Edward was holding. Just when I was about to rat us both out Esme spoke.

"You guys can just rule out acting on you list of things you want to be when you grow up because that was the worse faking ever." Esme laughed. I exhaled the breath I was holding and turned around to face her. Edward did the same and shot me a relived look. But we both knew we weren't all clear. Esme could still suspect something.

"Thanks for shooting down our dreams mom." Edward gave her a mock pained look.

"Aw, I'm sorry baby. But I have to tell it like it is." she sighed. "So, it looks like you two made up." I watched her face carefully as she looked between us, wondering if she suspected what we did. From what I could see there was nothing but amused happiness.

"Yeah, well, after the concert he practically kissed my feet and begged me to forgive him for being a dumb ass, and the he gave me the face." I said and grabbed Edwards face. I felt a electric spark shoot between us that had always been there, but was now ten times more powerful, and from his expression he felt it too. We both played it off. "And who can resist that face." I murmured to him in a baby tone. He rolled eyes and pushed my hand away, giving me a sidelong glance.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to help you sleep at night." I grinned. This was a part of our relationship I was glad to still have. Our ranting banter of bullshit to each other was something that gave our family ample entertainment and us loads of memories to look back on. I could see it in Edward's eyes that his thoughts were aligned with mine.

"Boy please, I have plenty to help me sleep at night, and imaging you groveling isn't one of them."

He shrugged. "Sure. Its okay. It's not your fault you can't tell your imagination from reality. They have a special name for your condition, you know."

Ooo, burn. I rolled my eyes. "Really? They have one for yours too. It's-" Esme stopped me.

"Okay. I'm glad to see you two are back together but I really don't want to hear you bullshit each other this early in the morning." She smiled at us once more and headed to the door. "Be down for breakfast in five or I'll give your food to Emmett." she left and closed the door.

"Fuck, that was close." Edward muttered as he stared at the door.

"Yeah, but lets not give her any reason to be suspicious and get the fuck out of here." I got up and made my way to door but Edward grabbed my wrist. I admit, I was trying to stall our talk because I really had no idea what would come of it. I just knew what I felt. And right now I felt that usual spark between us as he held on to my wrist. I refused to look at him though and choose the carpet instead. _Its_ eyes wouldn't make my knees weak.

"What?" I asked.

"You know what. We need to talk. Now." Behind his voice there was a weariness that made me wonder if he didn't know what would come of this talk anymore than I did. But there was also, I think, hope in there too, for, I assumed, something good to happen. But you know what they say about assuming: _When you assume you make an ass out of _you . One of Jasper,s favorite sayings. He dropped my arm and stood in front of me. I looked up into those emeralds and felt at home. Safe. Loved. And all the above. All I wanted to do was get back in bed with the fucker and make out until our lips fell off. _Unfortunately_, life makes _your _life beyond difficult before you can get what you want. But _fortunately,_ I have an excuse to prolong the difficult stuff for a couple more hours.

"Esme said we had to be down now if we want to eat." I sighed and cut off what he was about to say with a kiss. I couldn't help it. His lips were taunting me as they moved. I stepped back before it could get any deeper, plus we were really playing with fire here. If we didn't know what the fuck was gonna happen between us I sure and the hell didn't want any of our friends or family brown-nosing into it. "We'll talk later. I promise. But right now I'm starved, so please, lets just hold off from anything at least until after breakfast." He narrowed his eyes at me but nodded. He grabbed my hand though, so we walked down the stairs hand in hand until we hit the kitchen.

The kitchen was chaotic when we walked in. Emmett was pestering Esme for our food, which consisted of her homemade chocolate chip waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, and a variety of fruit. She only ever cooked like this when we were all together. Jasper and Alice were having a mini food fight. And my dad and Carlisle were cracking up at the table over something while Rosalie was texting and eating. What a mess. Edward and I exchanged knowing glances with each other, obviously thinking the same thing. Emmett was the first to notice us. Although his greeting was more of a complaint.

"Aw shit. Why couldn't you guys stay sleep or something? I had almost won ma over and had extra waffles." A sly look crossed his face and he turned back to Esme. " 'Cause you know mommy, your waffles are the best." He gave her his best goo goo eyes. Esme just rolled her eyes, nudged him, and brought Edward and my plates to the table.

"Here you guys. You made it just in time, I was definitely about to give in." she winked.

"Wouldn't be the first time." I muttered, taking my seat across from Jasper and Alice, in between my dad and Edward. Esme and Carlisle sat at the heads of the table with Emmett and Rose sitting across from eat other on Esme's end of that table. I looked to my dad. "Morning dad, what are you doing here?" I took a bit of bacon.

"You know I can't ever resist a chance at Esme's world famous waffles." He glanced at Esme. "These are really amazing. The best you've ever made." He said it with a little more feeling than needed and winked at her.

"Watch it Swan, _my_ wife." Carlisle gave him a look playful warning look. I resisted a groan. Parents were so corny. But Esme ignored them and looked to me.

"Bella, I didn't get a chance to congratulate you on your performance last night. Wonderful honey." she praised me. I smiled. I'd nearly forgotten about it.

"Really sweetheart, you blew it away." my dad complemented and gave me a half hug.

"Yeah B, you were really great. That is the "fuck off" song of the year. Huh Edward?" Jasper laughed. I kicked him. "Ow." Emmett and Edward laughed.

"Watch your fucking mouth at the table." Carlisle warned. He only cussed because he could. They always did that to us. "But Bella, he's right. You were amazing."

"Thanks everyone. It means a lot." I said timidly. Edward caught my hand from under the table and intertwined our fingers, something he always did when I reacted shyly. But this time it was different. The feel was more intimate now, no longer just a friendly gesture. But no matter how it came across the effect was the same. He was letting me know he was here for me and it was okay. Edward knew how I felt being the center of attention, though you would probably think other wise how I've preformed in front of thousands of people. But being put on blast always made me nervous, Edward was the one who loved it.

"I told you she would be awesome guys, don't sound so surprised." Alice chastised.

"Shut up Alice." Rose told her. "So Bella, did you get to talk to Aro? What did he say?" she asked curiously and everyone's eyes were on me again.

Just because I wasn't fond of being under the spot light didn't mean I didn't know how to handle it. I gave them a sad face and looked down at the table. I heard Esme gasp.

"No. You got the deal, right? You had too." I didn't answer. "Bella?" I looked up at her, tears in my eyes. I was that good.

"Oh no. I'm sorry Bells, they'll be other chances." my dad comforted me. It took all I had not to bust up at all there gullible faces of pity. It was funny. Alice's was fake because she was with me when I spoke to Aro and knew the truth. Hell yeah I got the deal. I was set up to have a meeting with some executive producers and mangers from the company in a week or so. I was so good I even had Edward fooled.

"No…its just…" I made my voice crack in a very convincing way. I could probably become an actress if this singing thing didn't work out. All the guys, including Rose, looked as if they wanted to go kill Aro, which, I'm sure, is exactly what they were thinking. I gave up and smiled. "I got it."

There was a moment of silence. Then everyone groaned and started shooting complaints at me for kidding like that. Only Alice laughed along with me. "What? It's not my fault you people jumped to conclusions. I never said I didn't get it. Your bad." all at once I got food thrown at me. I looked around at all their smug faces but my gaze fell on Alice and Edward who were laughing so hard they had tears coming out their eyes. "Oh, its on and cracking." I smashed my eggs in Edward's face and threw a waffle at Alice's head. They looked at me sunned for on instant, then all hell broke lose.

…...

"Dude, its gonna take like ten washes to get this syrup out of my hair!" Alice complained in the shower. I was in the mirror brushing the kinks out of my wet hair, thinking about Edward.

After the food fight, which was hella messy and fucked up Esme's dining room, my dad left and told me to be home by tonight. Also giving congrats to Edward and I for working things out, though warning Edward that if he ever hurt me again it was his pretty face. And then Esme made everyone, including Carlisle, clean everything spotless before we got to go. It was no problem though, cleaning up was just as fun as that food fight. We all keep laughing and throwing left over food at each other.

The problem for me was the sexual tension that sprung up between Edward and I. Who knew strawberry puree would look so sexy dripping down a guys neck. Man, I wanted have _him_ for breakfast, since mines was on the floor and walls. I think he was thinking the same thing because every time our eyes met they looked as if they were burning with lust. Plus, he kept shifting his pants very conspicuously. Lucky for him I was the only one to notice, or else my family and friends would have had a field day with that one. That's kind of what I laughed at the most, and Edward kept shooting death glares mixed with lust ones which only made me laugh harder. No pun intended.

After that Esme sent everyone off to clean themselves up. She made sure that everyone went to their respective bathrooms so there was no "funny business." Her words, not mine. Edward and Jasper was forced into Edward's, both boys looking disappointed. Alice and I were sent to hers, while Emmett and Rose got to share his since they weren't still in high school, though we were all eighteen. Fuckers.

As I was putting my clothes on I was fretting over how Edward and I were going to start our conversation. There was so much to say and straighten out between us. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't notice Alice until she was standing right in front of me.

"Oh. I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom." I told her. She gave me a knowing look, but I could hear the questions in her head. She wasted no time.

"Why in the fuck did you and Edward have sex?" her green eyed gaze was intense. I flinched at her question and sat on her bed, avoiding eye contact. She made it sound so dirty. Like it was bad. So the opposite of how I was feeling about it. Where the fuck did this come from?

"How did you-"

"You're right across the hall from me. Music can't drown out everything. Answer the question."

"Because we wanted to." It sounded so simple, though anything but, yet I didn't know how else to answer her.

She stared at me incredulously, anger in her eyes. I didn't know what the hell she had to be mad about. She was the one who begged me to forgive him. She should be ecstatic right about now. After a while she took a deep breath closed her eyes and put one hand on her forehead and the other on her hip. I recognized her frustrated look. It didn't faze me. I still didn't understand what she was so upset about. She was kind of ruining my bright optimism on the Edward situation. I was on the verge of irritation if she didn't open her mouth soon.

At last, she opened her eyes and sat down next to me. She was thoughtful for a while before she spoke.

"Are you okay?" she whispered. "And don't _try_ to lie." I didn't really understand her question, but I thought about my answer. Then when I saw all worry and concern plastered on her face I hurried to assure her.

"Yes Alice. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great actually. What's the matter?" she exhaled and grabbed my hand, her grip tighten then relaxed. Her big greens eyes began to water, despite the fact a smile slowly crept on her face.

"Good." she then embraced me in a bone-crushing hug. Not totally unexpected from Alice, she was a hugging freak. But I was still confused as to what was wrong. I tentatively hugged her back, patting her back awkwardly. "Good" she whispered again and let go. I waited for her to say something, but got nothing.

"So, are you going to explain what all that was about?" she looked at me while wiping the few tears that escaped.

"Oh, that? That was nothing. I just had to make sure you were okay. I don't know what happened between you and Edward but…" she trailed off and stared at me. "B, I can't go through it again." I was even more lose than I was before.

"Go through what?" I said exasperated.

"You being depressed over Edward!" she exclaimed.

I paused. It was so obvious, if you thought about it. I guess. "Oh." what a brilliant response.

"Yeah. You might have been the main victim, but we all hurt too." she began. "Seeing you like that. Seeing Edward like that. It killed me. It killed us all. Nothing has been fun for the last two weeks, because you and Edward, together, _brought_ the fun. And he might be my cousin, but Bella, your like my sister, and he hurt you. I was infuriated at him. But as my best friend, I was scared for you. I thought you would never get through it. And though I know I had a part at keeping you like that, dude, you were a mess. And Bella, that's something I would have ever wanted you to go through. That's the reason I tried to keep you and Edward apart. I was afraid that if I let him get to you it would only make things worse. And even though I was the one who kinda made things worse, and Rose, and everyone else…" she took a breath. "You have to understand that wasn't our intention." she stopped, and I gazed at her in sympathy, knowing damn well that if the roles had been reversed I would have done the same. "I love you B, we all do. And even though I might not really get why you an Edward did the do…all that matters is that your both okay and happy, cause I would never want you to have to feel that pain again."

Shit, now I was the one crying. I hugged her just as hard as she had me. "Your such a good friend."

She shrugged in my arms. "I try." by the time I let go we were both in tears, which sent us into hysterics.

"We're such girls." I admitted through my watery giggles, drying my eyes.

Alice laughed once more before taking a deep breath. "True. But now that I got all that out, what's going on between you and my fucktard of a cousin?" I laughed. Much like myself, Alice always had a way with words.

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><p><strong>AN: What'd ya think? Dileme! (Tell me!)**

**Ok, so i love all you guys who have reviewed me, all four of you! Fanfic is acting _super_ retarded right now so I can't even give out thank yous through this author note to you guys by name. Just know I really appreciate you all. Bbbuuuttttt, I am sorry to say I will not be posting anymore until I have alleast 10 reviews! I mean, come on, is that really too much to ask for? If it is, tell me off in a review, because if you do that I am the 95% sure you read my story if you've gotten this far to review this chapter, so press that button! (In that little girl voice from that animaniacs cartoon whose parents always leave the dog to watch her: "You no press the button, I press the button...the doggy go down the hooolllleee...") Lmfao! Dont judge me people!**

**Welp, until I get 10 reviews folk, PEACE OUT!**

**P.S.: Get up on that "Anything for you" bandwagon and read and review! Its a great little two shot!**


	4. Fly With Me

**A/N: Ok, so i know i said i wouldn't post this until i got at least 10 reviews, but I'm too anxious to get it out there, and its taking FOREVER, so here you go. At least those of you who are reading this lol.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own nada. Bummer :(  
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><p><strong>Ch.5 <strong>**F****ly With Me**

**EPOV  
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"Down! Hut!" I yelled. I then ran past a blocking Emmett, my dad taking him down as I glided towards victory. Jasper was on my tail, but I was too close, and he wasn't close enough. Bitch was fast, almost as fast as me. Almost.

"Yeah! Touchdown! What? What?" I shouted in triumph, and then began running around a panting Emmett. "Pay up bitches."

"That's five to three. We won. Pay up." my dad ordered Emmett and Jasper, then gave me a high five.

"The fuck you did. You guys are some fucking cheaters." Jasper complained and fell out on the grass in the open sun, huffing and closing his eyes. He threw a fifty on the ground next to him; my dad picked it up and added it to his fold as Emmett sorely coughed up his end to me.

"Stop being a bitch and learn how to play football if you want to win. Don't hate, appreciate." I knew it was an exaggeration due to Jasper being one of the best running backs in the state, just not as good as me. They also thought just because my dad was older he still couldn't beat their asses. My dad was a G, much like my mom and Pops, aka Charlie. They forget my dad was an all star running back at USC three years running. And me being one of the top quarter backs out there made us damn near invincible. Emmett was tough as hell too, with his two hundred and fifty pound blocking ass, it was like trying to take down a walking bull dowser. But we had skills and knew his weak spots.

Jasper flipped me off from the ground as I counted my fifties. We had played five games so far, and me and my dad had won three of them. That doesn't usually happen, we do lose sometimes. But today I was unstoppable. Despite the inevitable talk Bella and I were due to have soon, I was on some weird high from the night before and her erotic food show from breakfast.

I felt someone burning a hole in my face as I contemplated the events from the this morning. I looked up to see Emmett standing a few feet away, while Carlisle and Jasper joked off to the side, oblivious to him studying me.

At first I thought he was staring at the money in my hand, but no, it was me. I looked around, wondering if he could be staring at something else, because I, his brother of eighteen years, couldn't possibly be that interesting to him to have him staring at me like I'm so fucking interesting . And then it really creeped me out when I stared him dead in the eyes as he looked at me. Man didn't even flinch. Usually people do something when they've realized they might have been put on the pervert-stalker list, but no, nothing.

I finally got bored of the stupid staring match and walked up to Emmett, putting my money in my basketball shorts pocket.

"Why the fuck you staring so hard?" I asked, annoyed. He looked me up and down, then looked side to side. Jasper and Carlisle were now play wrestling. He turned back to me.

"Follow me." he told me. What other choice did I have? He led me around the back towards past the pool, around to the side of the house where our Jacuzzi and outdoor shower were. He stopped so abruptly and turned to face me that I almost ran in to him.

"The fuck-" I stumbled to catch my balance. He sat on the edge of the Jacuzzi.

"Sit down, Edward." his voice was low, but serene. It was rare for Emmett. His expression was even weirder, serious but calm. I sat tentatively, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

"Okay, I don't really think you need to hear this, but Rose is threatening to cut my balls off and use them as bait on her next fishing trip if I don't. And you know Rose don't play, but I'll try and make this brief. Now, me and Rose are happy about you and Bella." I gaped at him wide eyed. How in the world did he know? First Jasper in my room, now him? I wonder when my parents and Charlie are going to but in. Just a matter of time, it seems.

"We know you guys fucked. We also saw the way you guys were acting towards each other this morning when you thought no one was looking. Bella wasn't the only one laughing at your problem." he chuckled, answering the question in my head. I nodded. I didn't really give a shit who knew about what we did last night, I wanted to shout it to the world. The problem was that I didn't know what had, or would, become of it.

After a minute too long of silence, I sighed. "Your point is?"

"No point. We just wanted you to know that we hope that you two are happy together, even though we know you are because, hey, you're Edward and Bella, friends for life. But don't hurt her again, because, you know, you might be my little bro and all, but that's my little sis. And don't nobody fuck with my sis. Same goes for her, though Rose is giving her this talk." he patted me on the back. " So yeah, that about sums it up. Have fun with it. Don't let it get to complicated. Oh, and next time you guys plan to fuck in the house, turn the music up." he grinned. And just like that he was back to his old Emmett self, crude and obnoxious.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged out of his hold. "There you guys are. Are you hiding?" Rose inquired as her and Bella walked up. She winked at me and then sat on Em's lap. He kissed her.

Bella stood by me and gave me a small smile, a little remnants of blood in her cheeks telling me she had just been blushing. Probably from the talk she just got from Rosalie. I wanted to pull her down on my lap but didn't know how that would roll over. Her blush brought back the way her face flushed as she came last night. I had to take a few deep breaths to keep Big Willy down. I wasn't sure how she would take to me holding her hand in front of Em and Rose, even though I had been doing it for the last ten years, but now it meant something different, and they knew it. So instead I just gave her a smile back and stood. Rose broke away from Em, but he just went to her neck.

"Oh. We came out here to tell you that Esme said lunch is almost ready, so go eat." she went back to sucking face with my brother, something that I did not plan on sticking around to see. The way they kissed made you not want to do it yourself. It didn't look like they were far from clothes coming off.

I began to walk away, Bella walking beside me, when she took my hand and intertwined our fingers. I hid my surprise and went with it, squeezing her shaking hand, letting her know it was okay. We walked around the corner turning into the patio where my mom and Jasper was making the table while Alice was helping my dad at the grill.

I stopped short. I had an idea.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Do you want to go somewhere…a little more private?" I was at the point where I wanted to have this talk now. The suspense was starting to kill me. I'm the type of person to get a thrill out of daring situations, so I was kind of syked, in a strange way.

She looked at our family still going about there tasks, then back to the two animals, then back to me with a sly grin. "Lets sneak out." she suggested.

"I love the way you're always a step ahead of me." I commented. I looked around again, ebbing for an escape. "My cars in the garage. We could go through the window into the living room."

"Someone might go in there." I nodded and we thought some more. "I got it. Lets hop the fence." Huh? The fence went around the whole house and was, like eight feet, iron, and deadly. It had the pointy ends at the top that could kill a mother fucker if they slipped. I gave Ms. Evil Canieval a "are fucking insane" look. No way in hell was I hopping my ass over that death trap.

She sighed, exasperated. "Come on Eddie! We used to do it all the time when we were kids. Stop being a little bitch."

"I'm not a little bitch." I grumbled. Her new name for me was starting to annoy me. "I just don't want to split my shit on that thing and end up not being able to have kids one day. I like my shit." she gave me a sidelong glance and let go of my hand.

"Fine. Be a scareddie cat. I'll go this way and you go get caught. See you on the other side." she walked to the gate after moving out of our families view and checking if the love birds were looking. She then proceeded to step onto a table by the gate then on a bar on the gate and pull herself up. I watched in anxiety, not wanting her to bust her ass. Bella has been known to trip over air every now and then.

I ran an anger hand through my hair and followed her dumbass. "Fine. Whatever. But your paying for my hospital bills if something happens." I mimicked what she did as she lifted her last leg over the other side of the gate onto the gate bar. I watched her ass in her tiny cuffed shorts in fascination before she made it over and hopped down.

"You're such a worrier. Have a little fun in life." I lifted my first leg over the gate, making sure the pointy things were a safe distance away from my dick. I made it, then began to lift the second leg. I waited before I was safety down to respond to a now laughing Bella.

"With you, life is never dull." she continued to laugh, and I realized I'd missed it. The sound of her laugh was so inviting and care free, even though I had no fucking idea what the fuck was so funny. I chose not to interrupt because the sound was so beautiful. We began to walk, now hidden by the wood covering the outside shower where I heard the water running and low moans. Ew.

Bella was now down to sporadic giggles, and I gazed at the afternoon sun, hitting the ocean. We lived on a secluded part of Malibu, us being the only house for about a half a mile. The sand beneath my feet somehow reminded me to look at my grass stained shirt and shorts. Good thing I had a spare change of clothing in my car. Hey, you never know with my friends.

We walked into the garage and I popped my trunk and opened my Beamer. "So, what was so funny." I asked, rummaging through my trunk, finding tan shorts and white T, not caring about my dirty black vans..

"I'll tell you in the car." I changed and got in, starting the car. "It was your face." she told me, giggling again.

"What?" I looked behind me, pulling out of the garage and drive, opening the gate and gunning it down the street.

"Your face while you were climbing the gate. It was so concentrated and determined. It looked like…I don't know, like you were scared shitless. It was just funny." she shrugged then busted up again. I rolled my eyes. My best friend had major issues, but I loved her.

"Okay. Where you want to go?"

"Hmm. Red Lobster." of course. She was addicted to shell fish. Which I felt was kind of cruel being that if I ate anything from the sea I might die. Allergies.

"Insensitive whore." I muttered.

"Oversensitive bitch." she murmured back. I fought a smile at our familiar banter, happy to see it was still there, like this morning.

"You know, I'm getting real tired of you calling me a bitch." I acted irritated, knowing damn well I didn't give a fuck what she called me, as long as she was talking to me. Though the bitch comments were getting a little old. But I was sure that if I told her that for real she would take it a whole other level.

"That's because you a bitch." she shrugged.

"Yo daddy."

"Yo momma."

"Fuck you."

"Already did." good one.

"Congratulations."

"You missed your turn." it took me a second to realize she was serious. I cursed and hurried to make a U-turn before the traffic came. Bella laughed.

"Thanks." I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice as I turned into the parking lot of the restaurant.

"No biggie." I gave her a sideways glance to let her know what she could do with that "no biggie" and got out of the car. We walked in the place and up to the matre'd. Me annoyed, Bella smirking.

"Aw Eddie. Get the stick out of your ass and stop being a bit-"

"Hello. Party of two." I told the matre'd, cutting off what she was about to say. He nodded.

"Name?"

"Swan" Bella interjected, I'm sure to piss me off further. The man looked at us smiling, amused at the situation. He nodded and handed us the little beeper thingy they give when they have no tables open.

"Okay. The wait will be about ten minutes. Please have a seat."

"Thank you." Bella smiled sweetly at him before slipping her arm through mine and leading me to the waiting area where some old couple were talking to each other. I stared at them fondly, wondering if that would Bella and I in fifty years. I smiled at the thought and put my arm around Bella. She leaned into me.

"Still have a stick up your ass?" she looked up at me from under her lashes.

"Nope. My ass is stick free." I grinned at her, and she kissed me. It was short, us being in a public place and all, but sweet. Though it left me that much more confused.

"What was that for?" she shrugged and touched my cheek.

"I want you to know that whatever comes of this talk that I love you and I want to be with you." she whispered, her lips inches from mine. I kissed her, a little longer than appropriate, then pulled away.

"That simple, huh?"

"That simple." we kissed again, getting lost to the world around us. It wasn't the animalistic shit Emmett and Rose be doing, but it was sweet and special and ours, and I loved every microsecond of it.

"Ahem." a familiar voice called, we broke away startled, and looked up at our waitress, Bella's face scarlet. I stared wide eyed at our waitress, unable to speak. Bella looked a little resigned, recognizing her as she looked back and forth at us, surprised.

"Edward? Bella? You guys are…?" she laughed nervously. "Wow. What a small world. Well, let me lead you to your table."

Bella scowled at her back as she led us into a corner table on the balcony, getting the perfect view of the ocean. We sat down across from each other, and awkward silence falling upon the three of us. "Umm, well, I'll give you two sometime time to choose your orders, and I'll be back shortly." Pam said, not making eye contact with either of us. She nodded to herself and scurried off. I was surprised I remembered her name.

I picked up my menu and picked my order quickly, not having many choices to choose from. When I put it down Bella was gazing at the ocean thoughtfully, beautiful as the wind blew through her wavy brown hair, the sun showing strips of red.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place conversation wise. What do you say to your best friend slash love of your life when one of the girls you used to fuck comes strolling in as your waiter? I'll tell you what you say, you don't say shit, because everything you say is going to sound like bullshit to her ears.

Pam came back with waters and to get our orders, keeping it professional, not even acting as if we used to sleep together. I held my cool too, and surprisingly Bella didn't make a scene. Not saying she was nice, but civil, in her own way. We ordered and Pam scurried off once more, leaving me and Bella no more stalling openings, all our problems hanging in the air as if notifying us to get to it.

I slurped my water, not wanting to be the one to go first, but wishing I had when Bella threw the first question at me.

"So, what made you diss me at the talent show?" I choked a little on the water, caught off guard. Maybe she saw the problems in the air too, telling us to start. Maybe hers were more urgent. Maybe I'm just crazy.

I shrugged, not knowing how to phrase it to her, not wanting her to know just how much of a bitch I am, though she's probably figured that part out already. "I'm an idiot."

She exhaled loudly and grabbed my face roughly, her eyes open and warm, though a little edge there. "We know that. But be real with me. It's me, Bella. We can't go anywhere if we don't talk. So come on, be real. Truthful. No matter how much it may hurt you or me. I refuse to go any further in this relationship if you don't open up to me." I sighed and she dropped her hands. She was right, I needed to man up.

"I was scared." I whispered and sagged in my chair, felling small and unworthy.

"Of what?" I took a while to answer, collecting my thoughts and fighting the small pain in my chest reminding me of the hurt Tanya caused.

"Of what you're capable of doing to me." she looked at me, her face showing hurt and empathy. "Look Bella, I know you would never in a million years do what she did to me. But you open me up and expose my every flaw and that scares me. Fuck, that's a lot to take in after being on guard for so long. After having a wall around my heart for so long. But you tore down that mother fucker and left me bare." I willed her with my eyes to grasp what I was saying, but her expression was blank as I went on.

"You know more about me than I know myself. You push me to limits I didn't even know I could go. And I know it may sound like the dumbest most vain excuse out there, but it's the truth. I was, and still am, terrified of the pain you can cause me. But shit, for the last two weeks I've felt dead. I felt as if you took my heart. As cliché as it might sound, that's how it was. And I've realized, as cliché as this might sound, that I can't live without you. You're it for me, and I know you're not Tanya. But really, can you blame me for being afraid?" she didn't answer, but I saw her eyes start to brim with tears and her lip slightly tremble. "You'll never be Tanya because you're Bella. You're my best friend, Bella. Love of my life, Bella. Fuck a bitch up, Bella. My Bella. And I'll never fuck up like that again." I took a breath after my, I think, Oscar worthy speech. Silent tears were falling down her face but she was grinning. I reached and grabbed her hand from across the table.

"How sweet," she murmured sarcastically regardless of the tears. Her smiled dropped, and there was anger in her eyes, though she kept my hand. "You're such a fucktard. No shit I'll never be that slut." what a nice response. She sighed. "But you're forgiven. I kind of forgave you a while ago as I was writing the song; I was already past you being a dumbass. Doesn't mean I hurt any less, but hey, whatever." she shrugged. "But didn't you think I was having those similar fears after you know who? Didn't it once cross your narrow minded ass that I could have been afraid too?" Oh yeah, that. My bad. I opened my mouth to respond but she continued.

"He might not of cheated on me, at least not that I know of, but he hurt me too. But I still opened my heart to you. I got my ass up on stage in front of half the school and spelled it out to you in song! You could of at least lied to me and told me you only saw me as a friend, or talked to me about what you were feeling." she shook her head, livid. "Anything instead of that "I don't deserve you" shit! Edward, you humiliated me in front of our whole family, and broke my heart to no end. I died too, in the worst way ever." The tears never stopped, but I think they were for a different reason now.

Pam came back with our food and left quickly, I guessed feeling the tension in the air. Food forgotten, I spoke.

"I'm sorry B, and I can't take that back. We all make mistakes, I'm not perfect. Plus Imma guy. But that might not be a relevant excuse. What I'm trying to say is…fuck, I don't have a clue what the fuck I'm trying to say, so I'll say this." I leaned forward, grabbing her other hand and gazing into her milk chocolate orbs. "I need you, I want you, every part of you, and I promise, I will love you for all time. I'm yours. Forever and always." she rolled her eyes and turned to the ocean, taking her hands back and wiping her tears.

"Don't go all Taylor Swift on me now." she muttered under her breath, still gazing at the ocean. I sat there, no longer hungry, waiting for her to speak.

Our phones went off simultaneously, her ring tone playing Eminem "Love the Way You Lie", and mine was B.O.B featuring Bruno Mars "Nothing On You." The caller ID read Jasper, but I sent it to voice mail, knowing they were just trying to see where we were. But I was in no mood to deal with my noisy family right now. Bella did the same it seemed, but kept her eyes on the sea. I licked my lips.

"Why'd you sleep with me last night?" the question's been fucking with me since I woke up next to her. She said she didn't regret it, and neither did I, but damn, that was a big step. Hella big step.

She shrugged and began to play with the tables edge, not looking at my face. Even though her hair hid most of her face I could see the slight glow of her blushing. At long last she answered.

"I don't know. Impulse?" she sounded like she was more speaking to herself. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Goodness, I don't know Edward. Because I wanted to." she shrugged. "After seeing you at the show and feeling you hold me in the car…it brought on this whole mix of emotions I didn't understand." she paused. "After the excruciating two weeks of not seeing you, and then bam, there you are. What the fuck was I supposed to do?" she asked exasperated, but then snickered to herself. "Maybe not that, or beat up that tramp, but hey, I'm only human." Uh huh, that gives me loads of information. I was careful no to say that though.

"I'm not going to say it was impulse, but something more. Something stronger, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I not only wanted you, I needed you. As I said last night." I did recall her telling me that. "I wasn't drunk, I wasn't intoxicated in any way. I just…" she trailed off, at a lost for words. I nodded and processed it.

"Okay. I guess I get it. I just didn't know. And since we're being honest, I wanted it too. I've wanted it for a long time, but I didn't think it would have been so sudden. Not that I regret it at all. And I know you said you didn't, but still…"

"I understand. And to be truthful, I'm happy it happened. I'm euphoric. For real, I've heard rumors, but damn. I didn't think you were that good." she laughed and I shook my head. How she can go from mad-dogging my ex fuck-buddy to bragging about what she'd heard about my sex-capades is beyond my comprehension. I pursed my lips, thinking of what I was about to say.

"About that…my sleeping around periods…"

"Oh, you mean your man-whore ways?" Blunt much? She smirked at my taken back expression. "Yeah, its cool. I'm no saint either, as you may know. I've done my dirt too, I just wasn't as open and out there as you were." True, Bella was no angel, besides being mine. She's done some low shit in her eighteen years. "We've all got skeletons in the closet, I just happen to know all about yours. And you know all of mine. The past is the past, and we can't change that. We just have to look in the future and hope to see another day." she smiled a bit sheepishly. "And that thing with Pam, sorry about that. I was just caught off guard. I don't feel threatened by your past because I know you love me. I might get jealousy now and then, but who wouldn't? You'll do the same thing from time to time because that's you, and I have no problem with that. As long as you know I can fight my own battles."

"Yep, I know. And I'll try not to get too territorial, but have you looked in the mirror? You're hot, hands down. Let's make a deal. I get to fuck up at least three assholes before you get to them." I held my hand out to seal it.

She grabbed it and shook. "Deal. But I get to fuck up three bitches too."

"Deal." I reluctantly dropped her hand.

"It's pretty okay of Pam to keep her cool. If not, I might have punched her. Hopefully they're all like that. And you and I both know there will be more."

"True. Same goes for yours." she nodded and smiled at me. "You're pretty awesome, you know." I smiled crookedly at her. She never seizes to amaze me. She shrugged and grabbed my hand back.

"Duh. Who doesn't." I snorted. "And about the last two weeks. You know, I did want to talk to you." I nodded, still feeling a little frustration towards Alice.

"Mmhmm. I know. But that's all under the rug now. Let's forget about the last two weeks and move forward. I want to be with you and only you." she nodded, but then laughed.

"You sound like the end of some cheesy chick flick when the guy and the girl finally-" she stopped and stared at me. "Oh shit. That's us. We're that guy and girl at the end of the movie that finally get together after going to hell and back to get where they want to be. We're pathetic."

I chuckled at her analogy. "Not pathetic, just in love." she gave me her "seriously" look just as Pam came back to check on us.

She looked down at our full plates, but didn't say any anything. I looked down at my watch as Bella talked to her. We'd been there almost two hours.

"Um, can we get the doggie bags to go, please." I was stunned to hear her sweet voice was actually sincere. Notwithstanding what she told me, but Bella could have changed her mind. Pam nodded kindly and walked off, leaving the bill book. I put my credit card in it.

"I feel as if there's a weight that's been lifted off my shoulders. Though I know we've still got some things to work out, I'm glad that we can move onto a clean sleight. I'm happy to have you." Bella told me all smiles. I smiled widely.

"Same here. And it seems as our whole family already knows, so no worries there. Ready for school though? Ready to deal with all that?" going back to school was destined to cause some issues. Second semester of senior year. All Bella and I've have ever been were friends, nothing more. And due to our high statuses in school, this was sure to be the top gossip for the first couple weeks. But we had the rest of winter vacation to worry about that. And I didn't give a shit what anybody said. As I said earlier, I want to shout to the world, "I'm in love with Bella Marie Swan!" I was just wondering how Bella felt about it.

"I'm ready for anything they throw at us. I don't care what anybody thinks. It's me and you against the world, P.I.C." I rolled my eyes at her. Pam brought us the doggie bags and we left.

"Do you really want to go back home?" I asked, starting the car and pulling out the parking lot. I loved my family, but I wanted some more alone time with her. We just barley got things settled and I had no intention of going back to our meddling family. This was beyond new, and I wanted to keep it to myself for a couple more hours.

"Fuck no. Lets go to some isolated part of the beach by your house and eat our food. I'm fucking starving like Marvin over here."

"Diddo." I agreed.

"Diddo? Who in the H double hockey sticks says diddo? What are you, sixty?"

"What the fuck are you talking 'bout? You just said 'H double hockey sticks', what the fuck is that? Who's asshole did you pull that out of?"

We continued our bullshit up until we got to a empty, quiet place on the beach. Laying down a small blanket I kept in my car for times like these. The only thing that shut us up was the food. We scarfed it down, cold and all. That food fight had really left us hungry.

"You know, you never did teach me how to surf." Bella remarked after we finished our food, full as cows.

"You were always with James." she flinched, knowing it was true. We hardly ever spent time together when they were dating. Part of it was because he felt threatened by our relationship and the other part was because I didn't like him. We weren't on very good terms at that time anyway.

"Yeah, well, nothing I can do about it now." she looked to the ocean, a far away look in her eyes. Thinking about her first love, no doubt.

Bella and James began dating when she was a sophomore and he was a junior. At that time I was just getting out of my awkward phase and making a name for myself, other than Emmett's little brother, due to him graduating the year before. Bella had already passed her weird stages and was becoming the new it girl, which caught the eye of Golden Boy Baker; James.

All the girls envied her, and all the guys wanted to be him. And to be honest, they were a nice couple. And to be brutally honest, they were a real couple. Not one of those fake, high school puppy love fling things that go no further than the front door; they were really in love. You could tell he adored her, who couldn't, and she loved him. They dated our whole sophomore year, which really put a strain on our relationship. We barley hung out anymore, and when we did, it was always James this, or James that, or James is calling, etcetera, etcetera. After awhile I gave up trying to fit into her James oriented schedule and started dating around. Then I ended up losing my virginity and it became sleeping around. Until I got with Tanya, but that's a whole other story.

Yep, everything was perfect with the 'it' couple up until summer. Summer was where the problems started.

He didn't cheat or anything, but he started getting really territorial and controlling, up to the point that Bella couldn't go an hour without getting a call from James or him popping up where she was. She became so stressed and jumpy, and James just got more and more controlling. To the public they were as happy as ever, but to me all I could see was my best friend in trouble. But the thing that was stopping Bella was her love for him. She was convinced he would change, that he was just worried about her and didn't want anything to happen to her. That all he needed was time. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He was crazy, but only I could seem to see it. One day I tried to get through to her but she wasn't hearing it. She was so high off of James's bullshit that she couldn't see him for what he really was; a psycho.

Towards the end of summer Bella and I weren't on speaking terms. I began dating Tanya and she was in denial about her deranged boyfriend. When junior year began nothing got better, things just turned for the worst. Though the not talking killed me, I divulged myself with my new girlfriend to hide it, but I still watched Bella from afar. I saw the way her face shined happiness under James's arm, but her eyes screamed the stress and fear of what was really going on. After a while she stopped hanging out with anyone other than James, and it scared the shit out of us. She wouldn't talk to anyone, let alone listen to reason, and then everyone stopped and decided to let her make her own mistakes.

A couple days before thanksgiving Bella came to my house crying hysterically, but not hurt, at least not anything physical that I could see. Yet.

Apparently she had stopped by James house to talk about their relationship, but not to break up. Go figure. But anyway, he presumed she was and went off on her. Calling her names no woman should ever be called, throwing shit around the room, and accusing her of seeing someone else. She pleaded with him that no of that was true, but he broke up with her anyway. In her anger she gave him a few good punches for being a jackass and probably prevented him from ever having kids. But to say she was devastated about the whole thing would be an understatement. It was her first love. In her eyes, he was it for her. And to be accused of infiltrate by her boyfriend she loved big time crusted her. One thing about Bella, she hates to be accused of anything she didn't do. She will go out of her way to prove her innocence, but this time she let it go, it was a lost cause. Her and James were over.

It took Bella forever to stop crying, but only I saw her when she did. In a true Bella fashion, she put on an act, pretending it didn't bother her and she didn't care. When in truth it took her weeks before she could hear James's name without tearing up or getting pissed. But she was satisfied to hear that he looked like shit thanks to her. But like anything that happens to her, she's strong and she got over it. It took her a while but she did. By Spring she could walk the halls, see James, and not feel like crying or killing him. Can't say the same for me, because as soon as I found James alone, which was at his house a month after their breakup, I fucked him up. Unfortunately for him, Bella had had some bruises and scratches on her from him throwing things at her, which she blandly left out, but I couldn't let that slide. Though now he's in college, I know his face will never be the same.

To this day I think she still has feelings for him, feelings buried deep inside that no one can see. Because its times like these, when she's thoughtful after hearing him name, when I think about how I will always have feelings for Tanya, no matter what she did to me. You never forget you first love.

Wanting to change the subject and get her back in a happier mood, I put my arm around her. She leaned into me and sighed, but her eyes stayed on the sea. "You never taught me to skateboard." I murmured into her hair. It worked, she laughed.

"You suck at it."

"Cause you never taught me."

She snorted. "How you can surf but not skateboard is beyond me. You're good at all most everything, but you can't handle a little wood on wheels." she shook her head in disbelief.

I shrugged. "Imma love machine. And I won't work for nobody but you…." I sang. She gave me a sidelong glance

"Random much?"

"I is what I is." we looked at each other then busted up laughing.

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><p><strong>AN: Review por favor:)**

**Im out!**


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